Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 75062 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 375(@200wpm)___ 300(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75062 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 375(@200wpm)___ 300(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
That Lucas.
My Lucas.
Gone was my fight-or-flight, replaced only by confusion, a soul-deep sort of confusion.
Was he just fake kidnapping me?
Was he trying to get me out of that life that had been such hell for me for years?
But then why wouldn’t he have just whispered in my ear? Told me it was him, that I was safe.
It wasn’t until his gaze lifted from his aching hand that I’d just slammed in the trunk that I knew.
I knew without a shadow of a doubt.
There was no way for me to try to convince myself that he was trying to save me.
Not with that evil, hollow, awful look in his eye.
No.
No, this was worse than anything I had ever imagined. This was betrayal of the worst kind.
“Lucas?” His name croaked from between my lips, a pathetic, horrified sound.
“Didn’t think you had that in you, big sis,” he said, and I swear it didn’t even sound like his voice.
Sure, Nicky had always been the one with the fun, lighthearted, often upbeat tone. But while Lucas had been more somber and serious, he never sounded so, well, evil.
Or was that just me trying to convince myself of that? Was I clouded by the little boy I once knew, the kid I had raised?
Could I really have looked at his face day after day and not seen that strange, hard, almost demonic look in his eye?
Or had he just been that good at hiding it, at putting on a mask?
“What are you doing?” I asked, body frozen in place. Even if I could think clearly enough to tell myself to move, I wasn’t sure my muscles and bones would work together to make it possible. So there I was, half in and half out of a car trunk, staring at my brother. Who looked like someone I’d never seen before.
“What am I doing?” he repeated, tone feelingless even as he flexed his hurt hand open and closed over and over. To ease the pain? Or to feel more of it? It was impossible to know. “I think the better question here, sis, is what have you been doing?”
That pit in my stomach? It had grown to the size of a watermelon now.
Had my subconscious been trying to warn me all day that things had gone sideways? That threats were coming from unexpected places?
“Where’s Nicky?” I asked, finally forcing myself to look around, to try to see if there was anyone anywhere that could help me. Because something deep inside me told me that I really, really needed some help right about then.
“Nick?” Lucas repeated, spitting out his name like a curse. “Who the fuck knows? Who the fuck cares?”
“You should care. He’s your brother,” I reminded him.
“Oh, there she is. Saint Cameron. Always so good. So much better than everyone else.”
“When have I ever said that?” I asked, offended even though I knew offense should be the least of my emotions right about then.
“Always had the good grades. Cheerleader. Popular.”
“Are you angry because I applied myself at school? Lucas, that was ages ago,” I reminded him. “I’m hardly anyone’s cheerleader now.”
Except his.
I’d always been his best—his only—cheerleader, there to pep him up when he refused to even try to do it for himself.
And this is what I got for that?
This derision?
This cold hatred in his voice?
“No, but you’re so much better than us, right?”
“Better than who? You and Nicky?” I asked, shaking my head. “When have I ever given that impression?”
“You’ve always looked down on us for working for Colin.”
“I have not. I knew you only did what you had to do. You didn’t have a choice.”
“I had a choice. I made my choice. I chose my side.”
He chose his side.
And, clearly, that was not my side.
Which only left… Colin.
He was siding with Colin?
“Lucas, what are you talking about? Are you feeling okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”
“What do you know about who I am?” he asked. “You left. And Nick and I had to learn to survive on our own.”
“I never left you.” Well, that wasn’t completely true. I had moved out with Cody when things had gotten serious. “I was always there for you if you needed me.”
There was no way he could deny that. I was constantly stopping back home to make sure the water and heat and electric were on, that they had food to eat and clothes to wear.
They weren’t babies at that point. They were each in their teens.
I’d been a parent to myself and them for so long. I just… I needed a break. But I made sure they were okay. And they were. They were okay. I would have gone back if they weren’t.
“You abandoned us,” Lucas seethed. “And we had to finish growing up without you. You have no fucking idea who I am.”
“I am starting to see that,” I agreed, unable to stop the hint of bitterness from slipping into my voice.