Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 127146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
"Come on. You’re feeling some sort of way, and I know seeing your mom always makes you feel better.”
My heart swells. Jackie is the best. I don’t even have a response to give her, so I climb out of the car and walk with her up to the house. At the door, my mom answers with huge bags under her eyes. She visibly straightens, a smile gracing her lips when she realizes who stands on her doorstep.
Jack holds up the bags. "We brought all the deep-fried deliciousness."
Mom chuckles, clutching her oversized black cardigan around her waist and opening the screen door. "I knew I smelled something delicious. Come in, girls."
As I pass her, she gives me a quick peck on the cheek. "What has earned me an early morning visit from two of my favorite people?"
We lay the food out on the coffee table. Mom takes up her blanket nest on the couch again with a cough. Jack and I sit cross-legged on the floor, leaning over the table with our own meals. "Jack dragged me out to see you and even made me stop in the drive-through of our favorite place.”
My mother laughs. “Sounds like she really had to force you.”
We all chuckle and eat in silence for a moment. A soap opera plays on the TV on low volume. Someone's brother has gotten someone's mistress pregnant from the sight of it. It's mindless, which is why she loves it, I think.
She smooths my flyaway hairs off my face back into my messy bun. "Are you okay, sweetheart? You look stressed?"
I nod around a bite of burger. "Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just been super busy with clients."
It feels good to be doing something normal for once. To be spending time with her without fighting about her illness, medications, or money. I watch as she picks at her food, but she eventually takes a few healthy bites of the burger, so I don't complain, not wanting to ruin the moment. Despite everything, despite Drew being a complete asshole, he has no idea what a gift he's given me. That money will pay for some of my mom's treatment, but more so, it's given us a normal, pain-free moment to spend together.
Not discrediting that he was a complete asshole, I decide to hate him a little less. Yes, he was rough with me, but he gave me pleasure. It seems like it's always a give and take with him, and I’ve had so much more take than give in my life.
It’s always been this way, so I'm not sure how to handle when things are more equal.
Not exactly fair since he insists I belong to him, but I can't do anything about that. Not when secretly, in the deepest, darkest parts of my being, I crave him. The deep, dark, depraved part of him speaks to that same darkness hidden inside me. I don't know how to wrap my head around it or make it make sense, but like everything else in my life, I'll learn with more practice.
We turn up the terrible soap opera and sit back to watch. My mom runs her chilly fingers through my messy bun, and I lean in, enjoying her touch. It’s been so long since we shared a moment like this together. If we stayed like this forever, I'd be happy.
Like a death knell, my phone pings the moment I let my stress drift away for the first time in weeks. I don’t even want to look at it, knowing that it can only be a few people, one of whom I dread hearing from. I grab my phone from the table and stare down at the screen.
It’s a text from Drew, and despite my desire to delete it without looking at it, I open the message.
Unknown: So proud of you for finally depositing that check, wallflower. Wasn’t that hard, was it?
An icy chill blankets my skin. First because how the hell did he get my number, and second because I knew I shouldn’t have cashed the check. There’s no going back now, but that doesn’t matter. All Drew sees is ownership. Cashing that check was the equivalent to signing over the ownership of my body to him. He knows how much I need the money, and because of that, he’s put me between a rock and a hard spot. I close out the message, choosing not to respond.
Responding wouldn’t change a thing. Nothing I say matters to him. I glance over at Jackie and find she's laughing at the dumb show, right along with Mom. All I can do is smile because I can't bring myself to ruin this moment. Nor will I allow him to. Drew might think he owns me, but I’ll show him real quick that I’m not the girl he wants.