Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
I nod, my throat dry. “Looks like it was a head-on collision. The other driver is dead. Wade…” The words choke off as tears spring to my eyes. “It’s bad. I heard them say maybe a contusion to his heart. He was unconscious. They had to cut him out with the Jaws of Life.”
My mother’s hand slaps across her mouth and a squeak of dismay seeps through. Tears fill her eyes and Ethan wraps her up in a hug while my dad keeps a strong arm around my shoulders.
“It’s my fault,” I whisper and they all turn to look at me. “We got into an argument. He left the house angry. I went after him… and… I came upon the wreck.” My eyes beseech my mom’s for some understanding. “One of the last things he said to me… was that he hated me.”
My dad’s fingers dig into my shoulder, way past the point of being reassuring and bordering on painful. I know how mad he must be at me, but I bravely meet his gaze and brace for the worst.
Instead, I find sympathetic eyes. “You did nothing wrong, son. You didn’t cause that accident. And your brother did not hate you. You know that deep down, okay?”
I can’t stand to see the understanding in his eyes when I don’t deserve it. I stand up, needing air but giving the excuse, “I need to call Holland. Did someone let Kat know?”
Ethan nods. “She and Gabe are on their way. We’ve called Abby and she’s on standby.”
Nodding, I pull my phone from my pocket, intent on stepping outside to call Holland but I’m stopped dead in my tracks when the double doors open and a doctor walks through.
His eyes are tired, defeated and he looks around. “Family of Wade Blackburn?”
I’m closest to him so I step forward, but my parents and brother are right on my heels. The doctor motions toward a room that says Conference on the sign outside it. “Let’s talk in here.”
My chest squeezes painfully and I’m having a hard time sucking in air. My mom looks on the verge of collapse as my dad on one side and Ethan on the other escort her in. I follow behind, closing the door behind us.
There’s a desk against the wall with an office chair, along with two couches perpendicular on adjoining walls. Without the doctor asking us to, we all take seats. He stands before us, arms crossed over his chest. “I’m Dr. Barrymore, a trauma surgeon. I evaluated Wade when he came in and he was unfortunately in full cardiac arrest. We attempted for over twenty minutes to resuscitate him, but I’m sorry to say… we weren’t successful. He’s unfortunately passed.”
I don’t remember much after that other than a low, keening wail that my mother lets out. It hurts my ears, like nails on a chalkboard, and it seems to go on forever and ever. I slump back onto the couch, rub at my watery eyes.
This can’t be happening.
This can’t be fucking happening.
Wade is dead and it’s my fault.
CHAPTER 18
Holland
I take the turn into the Blackburn driveway too fast, the tail end of my car skidding slightly. The call I’d received from Ethan sent me into a panic. I’d been in bed, reading a book and feeling for the first time in a very long time that my life had purpose and direction.
Ethan’s number wasn’t in my phone. He’d been so much older than us growing up and there was always a divide. There was never any reason to have his number when I got my first phone or when I left Kentucky. Certainly, there’d been no reason since, so I almost didn’t answer the unrecognized number.
But there was something about receiving a call at almost midnight that had my hair standing on end. It was with dread that I answered. “Hello?”
“Holland… it’s Ethan. Something bad has happened.”
His voice was raw and warbled with emotion. I’m not sure everything he said, but I got the gist.
Wade.
Accident.
Dead.
Poor Ethan, the anointed prince of Blackburn who had the responsibility of running the entire farm on his shoulders, was the one who took the responsibility to call me. It never crossed my mind as being weird that Trey didn’t call. In fact, I imagine he was probably incapable of doing much of anything. Given how close they were, and the rift between them recently, I could only guess that Trey was a mess.
Ethan told me to come to the house and I pull in too fast, braking hard so I don’t hit Gabe’s Ferrari. I jump out of the car, spring to the double front doors and don’t bother knocking. I lurch into the foyer, head spinning, and take in how utterly quiet it is. No conversation, no crying.
Just… nothing.
I don’t see anyone in the formal room and head for the kitchen, the preferred gathering places for all happy things. In there I find Tommy, Ethan, Marcie, Kat and Gabe sitting at the table. Miranda quietly patters around, putting together food and sniffling back tears. There are coffee cups in front of everyone but no one is drinking, and no one is talking. They all look so devastatingly lost, they seem almost inanimate.