Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 112961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Oh shit, that’s not bad. I open my clutch for my notebook but come up empty. Even if I had started carrying one consistently again, this clutch is the size of a Pop-Tart.
Standing behind Connor, watching him gently but firmly turn down an objectively gorgeous woman, knowing that he does not do casual relationships and that he understands and admires me enough to put his entire professional career in my hands, and that if he feels even a fraction for me of what I feel for him, he’s putting his heart on the line to do this show with me, I realize that what I told him weeks ago is true, I don’t have a type.
But maybe I do actually have a one.
Have you ever been slapped? By yourself? This feels a little like that. I close my eyes, really squeeze them shut, willing the panic to subside. If I were writing this moment, I would describe the tunneling awareness that the feelings I’ve been ignoring have been here all along. I’d maybe make the heroine stagger to the side or reach for a half-empty glass of champagne and down it to take the edge off the sudden appearance of dizzying anxiety. But in reality, epiphanies just feel like your soul opening a gaping mouth and lamenting, “Oh, I am such a dumbass.”
I come up to the pair, swallowing down the thick ball of emotion in my throat. “Hey, you two, what’s up?”
Connor turns, extracting his arm from Ashley’s grip and setting a warm palm on my lower back. His answering “Hey” is low and warm, carrying a thousand meanings. I look up into his eyes and I know I can’t be imagining it. That one word says Hey, there you are, and Hey, did you hear that exchange just now, and Hey, I missed you, and Hey, remember when we had hard, fast sex and it was mind-blowing?
Ashley leans around from his other side, smiling at me. “Hi, Fizzy.”
I tear my gaze away from Connor’s. “Hi, Ashley. Thanks for coming.”
“Ohmygod, of course. I was just meeting your producer. Do I get a dating show next, and can he be on it?”
I smile tightly and look up at Connor like Wanna field this one?
He gazes down at me, sweetly amused. “I already told her I’m happier mostly behind the camera and you’re the one who made me do the interviews.”
Ashley rolls on. “It’s seriously unreal that you are doing this, Fizzy. I heard about it, but I had no idea it was such a big deal. Connor said the second episode airs tonight.”
“It’s a big deal because Connor is doing an amazing job with it.”
“It’s so funny, though.” Her laugh trills like tiny, spiked bells. “A few of us were talking earlier about how you’re a romance author, like, shouldn’t you know all the ways and places to meet people? If you can’t meet someone the usual way, there is literally no hope for the rest of us, right?”
I sense the smile slipping from my face, and I can’t do anything about it. An uncomfortable laugh escapes. Usually, I see these backhanded digs coming from a mile away. Usually, a smart comeback is right there on the tip of my tongue.
How is an expert in romance like you still single?
Gotta keep up with market research, you know.
It’s hard to find the right man after writing the perfect hero.
Even the simplest “I don’t have a lot of time for a relationship” doesn’t come to me in time. I feel caught in the headlights out here in the clinking hum of cocktail hour at my younger sibling’s wedding. In this gown that Connor so carefully buttoned up for me, and with my family all around me, and carrying these new, enormous feelings, I’d felt invincible—but oh, right. I’m the unmarried spinster. How easy it is to knock down and reshape someone with a few sharp words.
“I think it’s hard for someone in the public eye to find a good fit.” Connor steps in smoothly. “Fizzy is understandably careful.”
Ashley snorts. “Oh my God, you are so sweet. But I mean Fizzy used to date literally everyone.”
“Yeah,” he says with a cute bursting laugh. “Because everyone wants to date her.”
Ashley’s face does a thing. It’s a barely restrained Uh, okay, buddy. It’s a laugh held in.
Connor’s smile remains, but it doesn’t look totally natural anymore. “Do you read her books?”
Ashley shakes her head. “Oh, I don’t read books with just romance in them; I need there to be some plot, too.”
He goes quietly stony. “There’s plenty of plot. And Fizzy’s are the gold standard.” I stare up at him with fondness. This liar, still pretending he’s read my books.
“Oh, I’m sure—”
He rolls on and somehow manages to cut her off without leaving an insult in the air. “People think romances are just about sex—and some are, which is fine—but they’re also about social change and challenging the status quo, such as who the world thinks deserves a happily ever after.”