Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 112961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
“You don’t have to pretend,” he says. “You always take my breath away.”
We both go still, staring straight out at the surf while the echo of his words spirals around us. My pulse goes quiet for a moment and then it roars to life, a walloping throb in my neck. And I can almost feel it in him, the way he wishes the waves would stretch up here and wash that moment away.
“Well—so. Anyway.” His voice bursts out now, jazz hands, distracting. “You seem more excited for the first day of filming, at least. That’s good.”
I’m still raw from his declaration. Connor is an oak tree, and the more time I spend with him the more I register how frequently I feel like a stray leaf blown at the whim of my impulsive decisions and my roller-coaster job and even my own moods. You always take my breath away, he said. He doesn’t do casual, isn’t good at it. Of course he isn’t. Unfortunately, that’s partly why I like him. He moves steadily, with intent, through the world. I am so drawn to him it feels magnetic.
“I am excited,” I admit carefully. “And I know you did an amazing job with casting. That said, I hope there’s a contestant in the group who makes me feel even a fraction of what I’m feeling tonight.”
I’ve kept my eyes fixed on the water, but I can feel him turn and look at me.
“What does that mean?” he asks.
Instead of answering, I shift and, slowly enough that he can stop me if he wants, I climb over him, settling on top of his thighs. “It means I’m, like, insanely attracted to you.”
I feel something with Connor that I don’t want to label quite yet, but it scares me to think I’d ever have to give it up.
“Fizzy.”
“Yes?”
He stares at me, eyes shadowed, and adjusts his posture to set one warm palm on my hip. “Haven’t we already decided this is a bad idea?”
His tone isn’t accusatory. It’s gentle and curious and maybe the tiniest bit hungry.
“Yes.” I swallow, getting my longing under control. “But I was sitting here thinking how much I wanted to touch you and how scared I am at the idea of going home tonight and never feeling this way again.”
Connor reaches up, coaxing a few flyaway strands of hair away from my face. “Do you really think that’s possible?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I used to be attracted to people all the time. I used to love sex. I liked that fun and adventurous side of me so much. Being near you… it makes me feel like myself again, but a much more grounded version.”
“That’s a good thing, sweet,” he says gently. “And may I add that maybe what you’re also feeling lately is growth.” The wind blows another strand of my hair across my eyes, and he gently tucks it behind my ear. “You are so much more than your playful, sexy, adventurous author persona. You are that, of course, but you are also a woman with thoughtful depth and sensitive layers, and I wonder whether the way you feel lately is less about me and more about connecting with a new side of yourself.”
I can’t blink away from his steady gaze. My blood seems to vibrate with what he’s just said. “That’s probably the deepest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
He laughs at this. “In any case, I’m glad for you to be reminded before the show that you are a sexual person. That you can connect with someone this way.”
“And here I am,” I say, grinning. “Connecting with you.”
His gaze searches mine for a second and his expression softens. “Mm-hmm.”
“I’m not asking you to kiss me or do anything more than this. I just wanted to be close to you one time.” I reach up, tracing the shell of his ear. “I’m going to miss you, starting tomorrow.”
This makes him smile, but he directs it at my lips. “But starting tomorrow you’ll see me more often.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do.”
“I’ll have to share you,” I say. “It’ll be weird.”
It’s the way he tilts his chin, I think. He just lifts it slightly, a tiny, unspoken come on, then.
I lean in, slowly, so he can lean away. But he doesn’t, and the second my lips meet his, I have the spiraling sensation of never having been kissed before. Connor is a mountain of a man, warm and massive, solid as bedrock beneath me. His mouth is soft and strong, commanding and pliable. Pleasure spears a sweet arrow through the center of my chest, and in a flash, our simple kiss flares, all the pent-up feelings pouring out as our mouths move together.
My God.
It is the best kiss of my entire lifetime.
He tilts his head, coming at me better somehow, and deeper, his lips parting to slot between mine, one hand wrapping around my hip to pull me flush against him, the other sliding up my neck, cupping my face.