Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
“Felix sort of goaded him a little.”
“Why?”
“Because Jason overheard one of the guys I went out with say something to me about Felix being cute, and then this jackass started saying shit about Felix being my boyfriend. He was fucking laughing at us. And before I could make him choke on his own teeth, Felix said he wanted to fuck Jason’s face. He was trying to make Jason uncomfortable. Jason grabbed him, and I reacted.”
“What did you do?”
“Headbutted him and tossed his ass across a table.”
CJ nods after hearing me, a blank expression on his face. Then he scratches his jaw, and I swear to God, he looks like he wants to smile at me right now.
“Don’t take this as me condoning you getting into fights, but it sounds like that guy got off easy.”
“Fucking right he did.”
Jason’s still walking, I’m assuming. He definitely got off easy.
My brother takes a seat beside me on the bed and leans forward, elbows resting on his knees.
I watch him stare off at the carpet. “What. Am I in trouble or something?”
“You might’ve been if the two eyewitnesses didn’t say the fight was instigated by Jason.”
Miguel and Hector.
Fucking love those guys. I should bake them something. I bet they’d like that.
“What is it, then?” I ask. “Why do you look like that?”
“Like what?” He keeps his gaze lowered.
“Like you’re about to tell me bad news or something.”
CJ shakes his head. “I just—that shit Jason said. I don’t know why we haven’t talked about this before. We talk about everything.”
Oh. That.
“Did you think you couldn’t talk to me about this?” He looks over at me, and fuck, he actually seems hurt. “I know you’ve kissed guys. At least one. I’ll never forget you running home after school when you were thirteen and telling me Hunter Symonds kissed like a dream.”
What.
My brow furrows. “I never said that.”
“Oh, you said it.” He smiles, all fucking cocky about it too. “You shocked the shit out of me. I didn’t care, I was just surprised. But you never said anything more about it, and then you dated girls. I kept waiting for you to bring a guy home or at least talk to me about liking them, but that didn’t happen. I guess I just forgot about it.”
My mind opens up. I can’t help but grin. “Hunter Symonds. Shit. He rocked my world.”
CJ’s eyes widen, and he chuckles deep inside his chest. “I’m glad it was nice for you.”
“I wonder what happened to him.”
“Can we actually talk about this now? Just get it all out there?”
“Why.” I force concern into my voice. “Holy shit. Do you want to fuck guys too?”
He knocks his shoulder into mine. “I’m being fuckin’ serious.”
“Sorry. Yeah. We can talk about it.” I lean forward, mimicking his position, and pick a spot on the carpet to focus on. “I’ve only dated girls, but not because I like them more or anything. I’ve always been attracted to both. I just never got that far with a guy. I never really had the chance.”
“Was Hunter the first guy you kissed?”
I nod. “I don’t think there were a lot of boys where we lived in Tennessee who were out or even curious, so it didn’t happen again for a while. Girls wanted to date me, and I was attracted to them too, so that’s who I dated. And all the relationships I’ve been in always lasted a while. I’ve never been single for that long.”
“So, you’ve never been in a relationship with a guy?”
“No. I’ve messed around with a few, but that’s it.”
“What about Felix?”
I crack my knuckles. “What about him?”
“Jake.”
Our eyes finally meet, and Jesus, I’m angry all of a sudden.
“You read those fucking guidelines before you sent them to me, right? You know we can’t—my sobriety comes first. I’m not going to fuck up, CJ. I promised you.”
“I know you won’t,” he says sternly. “Look. I’m not gonna lie. I’m glad you’re not pursuing anything with him. Two addicts in a relationship? I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Yeah. I know it isn’t,” I growl, standing from the bed.
I stalk over to the dresser along the wall, pull out a pair of jeans, and tug them on. I grab a T-shirt next.
How many times do I need this drilled into my head? Fuck! I’m so sick of hearing about this.
“Hey.”
“What.”
I don’t look at him right away, but then I hear the mattress squeak and know he’s up and moving, so I finally turn around, pushing my arms through the sleeves.
“I’m fine. I just don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“All right.” CJ sounds cautious.
He stops a foot away, and he actually looks worried for me.
“I don’t feel like using right now if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m fine.”
I need to reassure him. The last thing I need is CJ freaking out about Felix and getting on me about switching up sponsors. That’s not fucking happening.