Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 109178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
“That’s the same thing I did…I was trying to re-enroll in law school after I dropped out due to my bad grades and emotional issues, and I needed money to get back in. It just never worked out that way. Is that why you weren’t as judgmental as I thought you’d be when I told you that I danced and do OnlyFans?”
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “I don’t think I would have reacted any different, either way. As far as my mother is concerned, unlike you, she was ashamed about her past. It’s not something she wanted discussed. She’d done it for a short time, less than a year, but it still happened. If that kind of information got to the wrong people, and to her family, her life would have been in danger. She’d literally be killed.”
“Killed? But why?”
He sighed and closed his eyes for a brief moment. “You don’t understand it because these are very different cultural customs, Nadia. This ain’t Texas. Like I said, she came from a strict, traditional family, and she was always looked at as a trouble maker because she insisted on doing her own thing, but up until that point, nothing she did was worthy of her being burned at the stake. Escorting though?” He sucked his teeth. “That’s a guaranteed scarlet letter. A woman’s virtue is everything to my Lebanese side of the family. Virginity. Purity until marriage, and definitely not sleeping with rich men for money and gifts, no matter the reason. Her family would be judged and there’d also be consequences, like them being shunned in their community.”
“But death?! I mean, yes, I’ve heard of this sort of thing, I’m not stupid, but it seems so extreme. I bet the same rules aren’t applied for men that sleep around.”
“I don’t know, you’re probably right, but what I do know is that if this information got out, it would cause such high humiliation, the family would be snubbed and possibly no longer allowed to even worship with their friends and neighbors. Because of that shame, what could have taken place was a mercy killing because of an Islamic belief called Zina.”
“What’s that about? Zina?”
“There are four categories, but they all have to do with lust, or physical intimacy—extramarital affairs, fornication, homosexuality, and another talks about premarital sex. It differentiates all of them. Lust is considered the catalyst for Zina, and unfortunately, the women carry the burden. Even if a woman is raped, in some of the old republics, she is blamed for it. Like, questions come up asking what she was doing out that time of night, or what was she wearing to entice the man, things like that. Men are believed to be unable to control themselves, so women are urged to take precautions to not tempt them to lust.”
Nadia shook her head in disgust.
“I hate that your mother went through that. I hate that all women shoulder that burden because quite honestly, this ain’t just some Lebanese thing. They do that same shit here in the USA! Supposed to be Christians, though.” She rolled her eyes. “As soon as someone comes out on the news claimin’ to be raped, women and men wanna ask, ‘Well, why she wait so long?’ or, ‘Look what she had on, she fast.’”
She was sure he could sense how personal this was to her—a story that didn’t bear repeating in her personal experience.
“You’re right. All of that is true, Nadia.” He ran his hand over his face and exhaled loudly. “If my mother’s family found out about her being an escort, according to how my mother explained it, they’d feel compelled to get rid of her. We’re talking complete termination of life. Like that would somehow right the wrong. So because of all of this, Nadia, we all made sure to never discuss it.”
“Okay, I get it now. Enough of that. I’ll get mad all over again. Tell me more about your parents.”
“After my parents got together, and my mother got married against their wishes to my father, they stopped talking to her because he was Christian, like I explained. But then they came around towards the end of her life.”
“What caused the switch?”
“Well, she had me and my sister. We were gettin’ older and they never met us. She was living nicely. Big, beautiful home. My mother always said she wanted for nothing. My mother apparently would send them pictures. Much to their pleasure, she was still Sunni. Still practicing her Muslim religion. She was a good mother, too… A damn good mother. A loving, beautiful person…” He hung his head, clasped his hands and swallowed.
“How’d she pass away?” He ran slightly trembling fingers over his gorgeous crown of dark hair. “Hold on, baby. Here I come.” She got up from the couch, crossed the room, and sat next to him. Placing her hand in his, she intertwined their fingers. His shoulders slumped as he cried softly. “Take your time.”