Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 109178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Nadia’s stomach dropped, and she felt her lunch repeating. The juice from breakfast. The coffee, too. The sunshine from that morning. The night stars from last night. The bird that had been chirping, before it was just a swallowed memory. Everything repeated and burned her throat, heart and soul. She pushed herself to the back of the swing and squeezed her eyes shut so hard, it hurt.
“Nana…” She finally built the nerve to speak.
“I know, baby. I know… But you need this. The truth. So, I’ll tell you.” Nana blinked back tears. “I looked at myself the next morning and saw he’d beaten me black and blue from the neck down to my thighs. I ain’t recall none of it, ’cept for that first punch and slap. I told you a long time ago that I only married Lawrence to get out of my mama’s house, away from her and my uncle. She ain’t want me in there no way because her husband was making passes at me, and she blamed ME for it. ’Member? My daddy was dead soon after I was born. This was her new man. Frank.”
“Yes… I remember.” Nadia’s soul was filling with rage.
“I had to get away from this man, baby, but I ain’t have no money and nowhere to go. Not with all three of my babies. I didn’t have Dee Dee and Percy ’til later when I married Princeton. Anyway, it was just me, JoAnn, Tina, and Larry Jr. After a few weeks, I went to my mama, asked her if I could stay wit’ her. I told her what had happened. She said no, just like I figured she would.” Nana crossed her arms and sucked her teeth. “Said that Frank don’t want a bunch of kids in his house. That wuddn’t none of Frank’s house. He ain’t lay one brick, or pay one mortgage statement. That was my daddy’s house! His blood, sweat ’nd tears got that place. Not Frank.
“Anyway, I told her that if I ended up dead, it would be her fault. She pushed me out into the world, and the world swallowed me up. I told her she could write that in my obituary, too. I ain’t say nothin’ else, Nadia. I turned to walk away, leave from that house and never return, and she called out to me. She left outta that room and returned with a gun. She placed it in my hand. Squeezed my fingers around it. She ain’t say nothing else, nor did I. We understood one another just fine.
“For the next two months, I managed to save up ’bout fifty dollars ironing people’s clothes, scrubbing floors, making soap and sellin’ it, doing hair, anything I could. I would give your demon of a grandfather half the money, and he thought that was all, but I kept the rest. He ain’t never want me working, but he allowed this ’cause he could use it to go gamble or whatever it was he was doing after work that didn’t involve a bottle. I packed up a few things, set ’em aside, and was planning to get me a one room place to rent. It was all I could afford. As long as it had a sink with running water, a hot plate, and some place clean for my babies and me to lay our head, it would be okay.
“I already had talked to the landlord and everything. I was allowed to stay there for six months until I could get on my feet, as long as I paid the rent on time and kept my children quiet.”
“How were you able to pay the rent?”
“I made dresses and clothing for children outta scraps of cloth.” Nadia smiled at that. “I was good at it, too. And odd jobs. That way, most of the time I could stay wit’ my babies. I always paid rent first and saved a dollar here and there so we could get an apartment later on. The landlord of the room for rent was an old Catholic man. I can still remember his voice and see his face.” Nana smiled sadly. “Mr. Sullivan was a widower. He ain’t even like Black folk according to the neighbors, and I heard him curse, spit and let that ‘nigger’ word slip out towards other folks quite often, but he had a soft spot for me for some reason. Even gave me free butter, cookies for the babies, and day-old loaves of bread on occasion, and he ain’t ask for no cookies and milk in return, either.
“Just the rent paid on time, and peace and quiet is what he wanted. I imagine racism for him was a complicated idea. For some reason, he didn’t see me as no nigger. I guess some racist White folks can do that inside their heads. Think, this Black gal right here a nigga, but that Black gal over there, ain’t. Anyway, I got everything just so to move into this place, and your grandfather wasn’t due home for a long while. I called a cab. Borrowed money from a neighbor for it. And me and the kids, with our bags, a little baby in tow, made our way out the do’e and to the car waiting for us. That devil pulled up to tha house, tires screechin’! I ain’t tell nobody I was leaving him, so I don’t know to this day how he found out.