Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 123435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 617(@200wpm)___ 494(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 617(@200wpm)___ 494(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
I mean, I should’ve known. Everyone’s capable of that. But I guess you never really expect it of your parents.
I end up at the small park at the end of our street. It’s only seven o’clock on a Saturday morning, so the park is empty. I spot a mother pushing a stroller along the path about a hundred yards away, and that’s about it.
I find a bench and sit down, burying my face in my hands. I regret snapping at my mother. My father, not so much.
They worked through it. I get it. They had eleven years to do that. I had eleven fucking minutes.
I smother a sigh when I hear his footsteps. I know it’s him and not Mom because I know my mother, and she would want us to mend our relationship first. Which just makes me angrier.
“She always puts you first,” I accuse.
“I know.” His voice shakes.
I look over. His eyes are wet, rimmed with red.
“Always,” he repeats as he sits down beside me. “Because that’s your mom. She’s the best person I know, and I don’t deserve her. I don’t know where she found the strength to forgive me. Trust me, I thank the Lord every day that she did. I never take that gift for granted.”
“I can’t believe you cheated on her.”
“Me too,” he admits. “Never thought I was capable of hurting someone like that. I’m not proud of it. I carry that shame with me every day.”
We stare for a moment at the swings that begin swaying in the sudden breeze. As if invisible children are making them move. It invokes images of me in this park, hanging out with my friends. I was so happy to move to Avalon Bay. I didn’t realize that move was the precipitating factor in almost losing my family.
“Did you really demand she get an abortion?” Bile coats my throat.
“I didn’t demand it. I just said we should.” Dad looks as sick as I feel. “I was planning on breaking it off with Victoria that night at the Beacon. The guilt had been eating me alive and I came clean to your mother the day before. Begged her to give me another chance. So I went to meet Tori to tell her it was over, and that’s when she told me about the baby. I said I’d support her either way, but that I loved your mother and would never leave her. And, yeah, I told her I thought it would be best, for both of us, if she didn’t keep the baby. I was selfish. I didn’t want a child with her.” He blows out a breath. “But you’re wrong, kid. After the affair almost cost me everything I hold dear, I made a vow to never be selfish again. These past eleven years haven’t been an act. I devoted my life to your mom and to you.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“Of course not, but you’re my kid, my blood. I was trying to leave you a legacy. I know you don’t believe me, though, so if it means canceling a vacation or writing you out of my will, then so be it.” He shrugs. “Nobody’s perfect. Least of all me. We’re all just human. Good, bad, and everything in between. Luckily, I found a woman who shares my belief that one mistake doesn’t have to define a person. I’m not perfect,” he repeats, then pauses for a moment. “With that said, I think you should accept Gil’s offer.”
The sudden change of subject makes my head spin. “What?”
“Take that voyage, Tate. I shouldn’t have talked you out of it.”
I stare at my feet. “You didn’t. I’m going. I was planning on telling you today, actually.”
He laughs under his breath. “Of course you’re going.” Another chuckle, before he goes serious again. “Tate. The reason I didn’t want you to go isn’t because I need you at work. To be honest, that sounded better than saying I’m fucking terrified.”
I lift my head. “What do you mean?”
“It’s a dangerous crossing. I don’t know if your mother and I would survive if anything happened to you. But we’ve never sheltered you. We’ve let you make your own mistakes, and you’re pretty good at recognizing them. And we need to let you take your own risks too, so if your heart is telling you to go, and I know it is, because—” He laughs again. “—my heart did the same damn thing when I was your age. You should go.”
I nod slowly. “I will.”
“And I know I said I didn’t need your forgiveness, but I’m going to ask for it anyway.”
Dragging my hand through my hair, I glance over with a rueful smile. “If Mom can get past it, then so can I. Just give me a little time.”
“You got it, kid.” He claps me on the shoulder. “Why don’t we head back to the house before your mom sends Fudge and Polly on a rescue mission. I don’t like making her worry.”