Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 51407 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 257(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 171(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51407 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 257(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 171(@300wpm)
I’m so busy fighting to give her exactly what she asked for that at first I don’t notice the buzzing against my tongue. How could I? My entire body is buzzing at this point. But with each stroke, it gets stronger, and I belatedly realize that her clitoris is vibrating.
I force my eyes open and watch her head fall back as pleasure takes her, as pleasure takes us both. At the same time, flames erupt at her back and form a familiar shape that almost shocks me into freezing. Wings.
When Rusalka orgasms, she looks like an angel.
16
RUSALKA
Idon’t mean to end up on the floor, but my knees won’t quite hold me after that orgasm. I lean against my desk and tuck Belladonna under my arm. She melts against me. It feels so damned right that I’m unprepared for the shame that rolls in like a tsunami.
Belladonna starts to shake. “I’m sorry.”
Once again, I have to forcibly remind myself that I can’t kill her entire family for putting these scars on her. Even if it were possible, were to feel good in the moment, it wouldn’t change the past. The scars they put on Belladonna have to heal on their own. But I’ll be damned before I let them get access to her in the future.
I keep my touch gentle as I stroke her shoulder. If she feels cornered, that’ll pull harder on all the things she’s trying to move past. “You should stay.”
She lifts her head. “What?”
I didn’t mean to offer, but I’m not about to walk it back. “Here. In this realm, in my territory. You should stay. Even after the seven years have expired.”
Her eyes go big. “That’s . . .” She swallows hard. “That’s an option?”
“Yes. If you want it to be.” I press a light kiss to her forehead and rise, tugging her to her feet. “It’s your choice, Belladonna. It’s always been your choice. My people adore you.”
“They don’t know me. I’ve only been here a week.” She looks away and slips her hand from mine. “Eventually I’ll disappoint them.”
“None of that.” Maybe I should let her retreat, but I can’t quite manage to. I catch her chin lightly and turn her face back to mine. “We all disappoint people sometimes. It’s part of life. That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve peace.”
“Peace.” Her gaze goes distant before refocusing on me with new intentness. “You’d let me stay.”
“Yes. Regardless of whether you decide to go through with a pregnancy. Regardless of anything. Bogdan will need to take an apprentice soon; he’s been putting it off for years, but he likes you. Or, if the gardens don’t interest you, there are many other options.”
She’s looking at me as if she’s never seen me before. “You really mean that. All of it.”
“Yes.” There’s no other answer. It’s the truth.
“What happens if we keep doing this?” She waves vaguely around us, where sex still hangs heavy in the air. “What happens if it goes badly? You won’t want to see me around. What if we do this, and we have a child, and then it doesn’t work out?”
Ah. I could tell her that I’ve never done this before. I’ve had lovers and partners, many of whom are still friends, but anytime the connection with one of those people threatened to distract me from my responsibilities, I ended things. The happiness I felt with them was too selfish to allow to continue. My people needed me, and they were worth any amount of heartbreak I experienced personally. It always hurt, but ultimately it was an easy choice to make.
It feels different with Belladonna. I’ve never felt the ground crumbling beneath my feet and experienced exhilaration instead of fear. I’ve never wanted to wrap up a lover and protect them from everything—including the sacrifices required to benefit the whole of my territory. Until now.
Admitting as much will panic her. It might even put pressure on this thing that isn’t even a thing, not quite. “I am leader of this territory, and I will continue to put the good of the territory before any personal feelings. I can’t imagine it becoming an issue, but if for some reason I couldn’t perform my duties fairly, I’d step down.” I take a deep breath, not prepared to deal with the surge of feelings that comes from the idea of a child of mine and Belladonna’s. “Obviously a child would complicate things, but that possible future is still far away. I don’t want to make decisions based on fear, little one. I want to make them with hope in my heart.”
“You can’t step down.” She stumbles back a step. “Not because of me.”
“I have no intention of it becoming an issue.” This conversation has already gotten too tangled. She’s only been here a week, and she already has me twisted up in knots. I don’t know how any of us will survive seven years, let alone longer. “Come on. I’ll see you to your bedroom.”