Total pages in book: 179
Estimated words: 167819 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 839(@200wpm)___ 671(@250wpm)___ 559(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 167819 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 839(@200wpm)___ 671(@250wpm)___ 559(@300wpm)
Why do I want to have his child? Why do I want to put that kind of burden on him or her? Knowing that Chance—my husband—wouldn’t be its biological father?
Fuck, what would happen to me if Chance ever found out? The child would be shunned. What would the Lords do to them? Sin is supposed to be powerful. But his future has been kept a secret. I overheard James talking about Sin and his dad. How high ranked he was, and how high Sin would be.
What if I died while our child is young? Would Sin take him or her in? What if the kid needs medical treatment and blood work reveals that it’s not Chance’s?
My mind hasn’t stopped going through every scenario that ends badly for my imaginary child. I had to try to ignore the possibility that will never be. I’m in no shape to be a mother. I wish Sin’s and my past was different. And that we could be happily married and making a family, but that’s not the cards I get to play.
Instead, I’m marrying a man who plans on loaning me to whoever wants me. Who knows if he’ll make me have his children.
To help keep my mind off my useless life, I was scrolling social media and saw where Kira’s friend Sarah was at a party. I wanted to come. I need to get fucked up. Numb. Sin burned everything I had. Well, technically it didn’t burn, but it’s ruined nonetheless.
So I got up, showered, and got ready like my life isn’t exploding into a million pieces.
Getting out of the car, I leave my clutch but grab my phone.
I enter the house and squeeze my way through the crowd. Barrington had a football game tonight and they won so the entire school is here celebrating. Barrington isn’t known for their athletics so whenever they win at any type of sport, everyone celebrates.
When parents pay millions a year for kids to attend, they don’t need to have a good athletic program.
Walking into the kitchen, I see Sarah standing at the large island, a drink in one hand and her other holding the hand of a Lord by the name of Gunner. I’ve seen him around. The ring on his finger is hard to miss when you know what to look for.
She looks over and smiles at me. “Elli.” Pulling away from Gunner, she wraps her arms around me.
I look over her shoulder to see Gunner searching behind me. His eyes scanning the room before they drop to mine. He sees I’m alone.
He’ll tell Sin.
Good. Let that motherfucker know I’m not at home crying over him.
“Want a drink?” she asks, pulling away.
I’m not as close with Sarah as Kira is, but I’ve spoken to her before. Her and her friend Blakely. I haven’t seen her around much lately, though. I feel like everyone’s lives have changed since the Lords had their vow ceremony. “I’d love one,” I answer, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear and avoiding Gunner’s stare.
She looks over to the guy making drinks and orders me one before looking back at me. “Did Kira come with you? I messaged her earlier and she never read it.”
“I haven’t spoken to her.” I need to apologize to her. Just because Sin didn’t turn out to be the guy I wanted him to be doesn’t mean that Corbin can’t be who she wants. Not everyone has my bad luck.
“Here you go.” The guy hands Sarah the drink and she gives it to me.
“Thank you,” I say and lift it to take a sip, but an arm falls over my shoulders, pulling me into a body. I look up into a familiar set of green eyes.
“Hey, Elli.”
I let out a nervous breath, thankful it’s not Sin. “Hey, Holland.” It’s Marcus’s friend that I ran into at Blackout.
He lifts his eyes to Gunner and nods, but Gunner doesn’t acknowledge him in any way. His eyes are still on me, making me nervous. Just to further my point, he finally speaks, “Where’s Sin, Ellington?”
The way he uses my full name makes my heart race. The Lords have a way of making the simplest word a threat. “I don’t know, Gunner.” I give him a tight smile. “Why would I know that?” Lifting the drink, I take a gulp, hissing in a breath at the burn.
“Gunner—” Sarah says softly, placing her hand on his chest.
He ignores her. “Does he know you’re here?”
My eyes narrow on him. “Why don’t you call and ask him?” I don’t know why I’m engaging in a fight I can’t win.
Lie.
I know why. I want to bait him. I want Gunner to call Sin and tell him I’m here. I want to see him show up and drag me out of here, kicking and screaming. I want everyone to see that I belong to him. That I’m not a secret anymore. I want the world to see that he’s cheating on the woman he’s going to marry. Fuck my consequences with Chance. It’ll be worth it. Just to know that someone would tell Amelia that Sin cares about me.