Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
He took off his Kansas City hat, pushed his hair back, and slid it back on. “I just always felt like you deserved to have her.”
“What? No. I wouldn’t trade you for Mom. I loved her, God, I loved her so fucking much, but you’re my dad and I love you too. I need you.”
My father pulled me into his arms again, and this time it was him who cried first, and then I did too. Why hadn’t we done this before? Why hadn’t we leaned on each other? Mom would have wanted that. If she was out there in the universe somewhere, I knew she was cursing us for being so dumb.
I didn’t know how long we sat there together before the tears dried up and Dad said, “Now tell me what happened with Elliott.”
“I fell in love with him for real. He’s… Dad, he’s everything.”
“You sound like I did when I spoke about your mother.”
I did, and I refused to let myself lose that, refused to walk away out of fear or anything else. Elliott had fought for me even before I realized what he was doing, and I damn sure planned to fight for him.
Elliott was my dream come true, only better.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Elliott
I stayed the night at my parents’ house, then pulled a brokenhearted teenager move and called in sick to work, staying at their place, listening to emo breakup music and scrolling Parker’s Instagram like a creepy stalker. I was pathetic and couldn’t even find it in myself to care.
Parker and I needed to talk, that much was obvious, but I would rather put it off, to be honest. Couldn’t we just go through with the original plan and never speak again? I could pretend not to know he didn’t love me, and we could move on. The end.
I didn’t really want that, though.
I wanted him.
My phone buzzed. My stupid pulse skyrocketed in a really embarrassing way when I saw Parker’s name on the screen.
Will you meet me at the entrance of Santa Monica Pier at 7:00 p.m.? We need to talk.
Nah, I’m good, was the first thought that came to mind, but instead of texting that, I just stared at his words. Three dots appeared on the screen again.
Please?
Ugh. Like I could deny him. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Parker.
Of course I’ll be there. You’re too spoiled for me not to be. I immediately started to message again. Stop smiling.
Because I knew he was, and damned if my stupid mouth wasn’t curled up in a grin of its own before I remembered that he was likely telling me goodbye.
* * *
I arrived ten minutes early, and Parker was already there. He leaned against the railing of the pier, wearing my favorite jeans and the blue shirt I thought matched well with his eyes.
My heart jumped, excitement and fear colliding into an explosion of emotions that threatened to overtake me. I wanted him so fucking bad. I was hurt at what I’d heard him say, though he had every right to speak the words. While I was used to getting my way, I couldn’t make him love me if he didn’t, nor make him want to love me.
Still…he was wearing clothes he knew I liked. That had to be a good sign.
Or was this like a movie where he chose to do this in public so I couldn’t make a scene? Ugh. Too many ridiculous thoughts were going through my head.
It felt like it took three hundred years to make my way to him. Parker didn’t take his gaze off me the whole time. When I reached him, he smiled, his cheeks that pretty shade of pink I liked on him so much. I was maybe feeling a little more optimistic because of it.
“Hey, beautiful.” Did my voice shake? Fuck, I couldn’t believe my voice was shaking.
“I’m sorry…about yesterday…what I said. I have to get that out before anything else. Your mom never should have found out that way. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting both you and her.”
Yeah, I was sorry too. But I knew he hadn’t done it on purpose. “We can’t go back and change it. I hated lying to them. They deserved better. Now it’s out there, and we’ll deal with it.”
He nodded, but I could still see the insecurity flittering through his eyes. He wasn’t sure about this, or about me. Fuck, I didn’t even know. I needed him to tell me before I drove myself insane.
“Walk with me for a second?” he asked.
“So you can break up with me? Do we even consider it that? Shit. I can’t believe I said that. My head is a mess. You’ve ruined me, Parker. I’m confident and cocky, not emotional and needy. I know how awesome I am!”
A guy walking by frowned at me, clearly having heard the last sentence. Oops.