Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
“Yes. Maybe you guys could try to keep up. You’re just repeating everything I already told you.” I huffed. “Also, it wasn’t the sex that made me realize it, but the way he looked at me, the way he made me feel inside. I’ve never… I’ve wanted this my whole life, and I never knew it could feel this way. It’s terrible and wonderful and a dream come true, but also the most frightening thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I was flanked by Declan and Corbin, Marcus sitting in front of us on the coffee table, which, now that I thought about it, was kinda his thing. Dec shrugged, then leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Sounds like love, babe. You wanted it, and now you have it. I thought I was going to self-combust when I realized I was in love with Sebastian.”
“Yes, but Sebastian loved you back.” Why didn’t they understand that part?
Marcus said, “And you know Elliott doesn’t love you because…you asked him? He told you?” He waited for me to respond, and when I didn’t, he added, “That’s what I thought.”
“I hate you.”
“You love us,” he countered.
Yes, yes I did.
“From the start, he told me he’d never wanted more with someone before, that he didn’t feel like it was something he could do, that he didn’t think he was cut out for it.”
“Are you explaining Declan before he fell in love with Sebastian, or your man?” Corbin questioned.
I knew where he was going with that. “Just because Dec fell in love doesn’t mean Elliott will too. That’s not how the world works.”
“But he did say you intrigue him…numerous times from what you’ve said. He also asked you to date him. And he loves to spoil you and take care of you…”
“He praises me,” I admitted. “That’s a thing we do, and it’s really fucking hot.”
“I knew it!” Declan shouted. When we all looked at him, he blushed. “Sorry. I had a feeling about that before. Carry on.”
“Wait. You did?” I asked, then waved off my question. “Actually, never mind. I don’t even want to know. We need to figure out this in-love-with-my-husband situation. Just because I intrigue him and he said he’s crazy about me isn’t the same as love.”
“Imagine loving your husband,” Corbin teased, just as Declan asked, “He said he’s crazy about you?”
“Why don’t you think he loves you again?” Marcus questioned.
“You guys are the ones who warned me away from him. You said he would hurt me, and now I…well, now I can’t figure out what you’re doing other than kicking me while I’m down.” I crossed my arms, knowing they were doing no such thing. They were being them, we were being us, and I loved them for it.
Marcus sighed, then spoke in that deep, thundery voice of his that had been known to bring many men to their knees. “Park, you know me. If I thought that motherfucker was wrong for you, I’d say it. But I watch, I pay attention. I’ve listened to the things you’ve said over the past few months. I kept my eyes on him when we were at Dec and Sebastian’s. I doubted him at first, but he’s feeling some kinda something for you, and he’s scared, just like you are. Has he recently told you any of those things he said in the beginning?”
“Well…no. I did hear him tell his friend that he wasn’t in love with me.”
“How long ago?” Marcus asked. “And what was the context? Maybe he meant the exact opposite.” He scooted the table closer so he was right in front of me, my legs between his. He pulled me forward until I was sitting up. “I love you, but I’ve also gotta keep it real. That’s how I roll. You’ve spent your life going after the worst possible guys for you, ones you knew would fuck up. You might not have felt this way before, but you have sabotaged relationships with decent men in the past, and something inside you is doing the same here. Because as much as you want love and romance, you’re scared of having it. I think you’re scared you’ll lose it like your dad did, and it’s easier to tell yourself you can’t find the right man or that you have bad luck than it is to really put your heart out there and risk it getting broken. You’d rather be alone than know what it feels like to have someone and then lose them. You deserve more, sweetheart.”
I gasped, heart in my throat. My vision went blurry, eyes filled with unshed tears. “I…” That couldn’t be the truth, could it? I didn’t do that. Why would I do that? I loved romance. I wanted my special person. I didn’t sabotage relationships and pick the wrong men.