Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Maybe this was a dream? If so, he would walk in any moment in a French maid uniform and suck my cock. When I blinked a few times and that didn’t happen, I also realized I smelled lemon and bleach in the air, which meant yep, he was, in fact, cleaning.
I took a quick piss in the en-suite bathroom, grumbling as I made my way into the hallway, where I found Parker, minus the maid uniform, frantically vacuuming. He had his back to me and his earbuds in, so he didn’t notice I was standing there. I crossed my arms, leaning against the doorjamb while he danced, shaking his ass. It was a great ass, but more than that, the dancing was just adorable.
He got low along the arm of the vacuum, like it was a man, before his ass poked out and he sexily rose to his feet again. My dick throbbed beneath my boxer briefs while a chuckle fell from my lips. Still dancing, Parker spun around, and the second he saw me, his pupils went wide and he jumped backward, tugging the earbuds out. “Holy shit. You scared the fuck out of me.”
“First time in my life I’ve ever been jealous of a vacuum.”
He dropped his head back, showing me the long, pretty column of his throat while groaning. “I was trying to distract myself and forgot you were here.” He looked at me, his eyes making a journey down my body before landing on my groin. “Oh, hello there. You have an erection.”
“Try being me and not having one right now.”
“I was cleaning!”
“Yes, there’s a first time for everything, and it was also hot. A guy handling a Dyson is my kink.”
Parker flipped me off. “You get horny easily. This isn’t the first time I’ve cleaned. I hope you realize your kitchen has never been as sparkling as it has since I moved in, and please put some clothes on.”
“Why do I have to put clothes on?”
“Because you’re naked?”
“I’m wearing underwear.”
“Your cock is trying to poke me in the eye.”
“You’d have to get low again for that to be the case. It’s more in line with your ass, but fine, if you’re too distracted by my dick, I’ll put him away.” I looked down and rubbed my groin. “Sorry, big guy, you’re gonna have to wait until the shower to bust a nut. I need coffee first.”
Parker shook his head, but I could tell he was trying to bite back a smile.
“Because of course you would talk to your penis.”
“Penis? No one uses that word except the doctor.” I yawned, going for the stairs. When I hit the top one, I added, “Stop looking at my ass.”
“I’m not looking at your ass! And you’re still not putting clothes on,” Parker countered.
“Sure you weren’t.”
As I headed downstairs, I heard his footsteps behind me. “I wasn’t. I’m noticing it now, but it’s a little flat. Just not enough to draw my attention.”
“I have a great ass, you liar.” The stairs led to the living room, which I crossed to the kitchen. I’d had a normal coffeepot before, but Parker had brought some fancy thing, which I had to admit made excellent coffee, even if I didn’t tell him that.
“How are you not freaking out right now?” he asked, sitting on a barstool at the counter while I put a pod in to make my drink.
“Because it’s not gonna change anything, but at least now I know where the early morning vacuuming came from.”
He frowned. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
I waved off his concern. “It’s fine. I still get up at a decent time on Saturdays. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”
His frown deepened, small lines forming on his forehead. “I’m going to fuck this day up so bad! I know it. These are things I should know about my husband.” Parker wrung his hands, fidgeting in the seat before standing. He headed to my side of the counter, clearly just trying to keep himself busy by pulling my coffee cup from the machine.
“Hey.” I reached for him, turned Parker so he was facing me. When he tried to look away, I gently held his chin and angled his head in my direction again, which he allowed. “You’ll do fine. My parents won’t quiz you on me, and if they did, the last thing they would ask is what time I wake up on weekends.” I didn’t mention that he would know if he didn’t leave the house before dawn every single day.
“This is going to be a disaster. You know what’s not fun? Waking up married…or being in a fake relationship. It happens in all the books I read, and it’s cute and silly, but I’m telling you, in real life, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Authors are liars who lie.”