Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
“I’m the one who should be explaining myself, Tristan. I let things cross a physical line, knowing you were Jacob’s father. What kind of person does that make me?”
His mouth curved into an impish grin. “A horny, gap-toothed little minx.”
My eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
“I’m kidding…sort of.” He chuckled as I sat there mortified. “Look, Emily…the truth is, I came on pretty strong. I was practically obsessed with you. Obviously, I had no freaking clue you were harboring my biggest secret. But I chased you pretty hard. You can’t take all the blame for what happened between us.”
“How can you forgive what I did so easily?”
“You didn’t do anything intentionally. You gave in to your feelings, but it wasn’t premeditated. You had your reasons for not telling me who you were during the tour. You didn’t expect me to pursue you. You didn’t expect us to have real chemistry. I can’t fault you for that. You got caught up. So did I.”
I shook my head, though I did appreciate his perspective. “I still think you’re going too easy on me.”
“For being human? I don’t regret anything that happened. If I remove the obvious conflict of interest, there isn’t a moment with you that I would want to take back. It was still one of the happiest times I can remember. And if that’s fucked up to admit now, so be it. It’s complicated. But so is life, Emily.” He sighed. “So is this fucking life.”
Tristan always had a way of making me see things in a different light. “Why do I always feel better after talking to you?”
“Likewise.” He smiled.
“Where do we go from here?” I asked.
“Well, I’m hoping you’ll be my friend.”
“I thought you didn’t have female friends,” I teased.
“You’re my only one.” He winked.
Friends with Tristan? I would take that over erasing him from my life. “Okay, then, friend.” I smiled, feeling my face tingle.
My body was the only one not in denial right now. Sitting across from him, there wasn’t a moment when I wasn’t acutely aware of my unwavering attraction. How I’d missed being in his presence, feasting my eyes on him. His tousled hair, unkempt but perfect. The way his piercing eyes directed all of their attention on me. His big, rough hands adorned with silver jewelry. The allure of his tattoos, too many for me to have memorized, despite so much staring at the magazine image of his naked torso. More than anything, his nearness was a constant reminder of how it had felt when he touched me, explored me with his mouth. It was the only time in my life my body had reached that level of arousal. I would never forget how that felt.
“Just like you used to say I reminded you of home, of your true self…you made me forget who I was, Tristan. You made me forget all the painful memories. I was a new version of myself around you, the bare-bones version of me without all the bad stuff. And in that sense, it was the true me you got to know. Unfortunately, I also lost sight of why I was there and that I had a job to do. That’s why I left when I did, because I was incapable of handling things the way I should’ve.” I started to get choked up. “I didn’t want to leave you. It was the last thing I wanted.”
He reached across the table for my hand. “You’ve had a lot on your shoulders, even before you came to find me. You need to give yourself a break, let it all go. Start fresh. You deserve that.”
I nodded, but there was one problem with heeding his advice. Despite everything that had happened, I didn’t want to let go of the connection Tristan and I had. If I let go of everything—the guilt and the bad stuff—the good memories would have to go, too. And that’s why I’d probably continue holding it all.
He let go of my hand. “When will I see you again after this?”
“I have to work tonight, but I was thinking maybe tomorrow we could visit Jacob’s parents, the Mahoneys.”
Tristan straightened in his seat, seeming on edge. “You think they would want to see me?”
“After you found out the truth, I told them how I’d gone on the tour and found you. And I let them know why you’re in town. They very much want to meet you.”
“Wow. That sounds great, then. Thank you.”
Tristan paid the bill, but we lingered at the table. His phone chimed at one point, prompting him to look down.
“Who’s that?” I asked.
He looked up. “Nazarene.”
Immediately, I regretted asking. It likely came across as jealousy to begin with.
The text was a huge reality check. Both Tristan and I had significant others now. Being with him again felt natural and brought back the best of memories, but any expectations my heart held on to were nothing short of delusional.