Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 126425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 632(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 421(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 632(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 421(@300wpm)
There are several other hotels we can try. It’s Vegas.
And we try them all.
And after seeking a room at what feels like every other hotel on the Strip for the last three hours and coming up bafflingly empty, we find ourselves standing in the bedroom of a kind of apartment in a place I’ve never heard of before called ‘The Siegel Suites.’
It’s not on the Strip.
It’s not exactly a hotel.
There are used syringes in the hall.
As far as I can tell, no one else is staying here. At all.
And I’m pretty sure I saw the remnants of police tape across one of the doors.
“It says it’s part of the Tropicana,” Britney reports, reading from her phone.
We look around at the space. I see a roach trap in the corner. It’s empty, which I’m not sure makes me feel better or worse. After a second she says, “This is silly. Why don’t we just share the room?”
“What? At the Aria?” I ask. She nods. “It’s only got the one bed.”
“So?”
“I have a hard time sleeping next to someone unless I’m having sex with them.”
“… What? Really? Why?”
“If we’ve already had sex, I’m not worried about germs.”
“But… if you haven’t had sex, you are? That’s—”
“Don’t try to make it make sense. It’s just how it is.”
I gave up working to justify things that aren’t rationally justifiable a long time ago. Like most things about me, I can’t worry if other people get it or not. I have to just go with what my various, frequently annoying impulses tell me are right.
After a long beat, Britney finally says, “Well, should we—?”
“Have sex? No! I mean, I’m sure it would be awesome, but—”
“I was going to say, ‘switch places.’”
“... Oh.”
“Like, why don’t you just stay at the Aria and I’ll stay here?”
“No, no, it’s fine. You have to set up the booth in the morning while I do all the author-y stuff and… it’ll just be easier if you’re already there where the convention is. All the books are upstairs and… it’ll just be easier.”
It’s kind of bullshit. It would be just as easy for me to stay there as it is for her. I don’t know why I demur. Or, no, that’s not true. I do.
It’s because I feel guilty. I don’t pay Britney anything. She’s not really my assistant. She’s just my really good friend who’s always there for me and keeps me from freaking out about things that don’t deserve my freak or making decisions that are based in emotion rather than logic.
She doesn’t have to do any of it. Her mom started the second-best-selling ‘slimming undergarment’ company in the world. Britney could just be one of those stereotypical LA wealthy scion kids who does nothing but show up on TMZ for all the wrong reasons, but she isn’t like that. She gives all of her free time to me and helping me build this career I’m trying to establish.
And because of all that… I just can’t let her stay here. I can’t. I wouldn’t be able to sleep and I need to be able to sleep. If I don’t sleep, I get foggy. And if I get foggy, I get weird. Er. Weirder.
I suppose.
“Are you sure?” she asks.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure you’re sure?”
“Absolutely,” I say. She gives me a long, skeptical look. “Brit, I’m fine. It’s okay. Look, I’m here. I’m going to be signing a book I almost-like at the biggest book convention in the world.”
“Cord—”
“I’m kidding. It’s a joke. I’m good. Really. I just want to take a shower and get some rest. I’ll meet you over in the ballroom in the morning. Seriously.”
She sighs, heavily. “Okay. But if it feels off here at all, like in any way, or you just decide you want to get out of this place, you call me.”
“I will.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
She stares at me for another moment, nods, then gives me a hug and says, “This is gonna be awesome. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you.” I smile. She smiles back. And then she leaves, reluctantly, trying to close the door behind her, but it sticks. I go over to help her slam it shut. She rolls her eyes in that way she does when she’s not happy but decides to give up and not fight me anymore, and exits.
And then…
I’m here. On the eve of what I had planned as my big coming-out party into the world of big-time authorship. It isn’t like I had imagined it, that’s for sure, but it’s still happening. I’m still here. And she’s right. It’s going to be awesome. It’s going to be—
“Yes, Daddy! Yeah! Fuck me, Daddy! Fuck meeeeeeeeee!”
Oh.
There is someone else staying here.
That’s comforting.
CHAPTER FOUR
DAY TWO — THE SETUP
In the early days the parents didn’t come to all the signings. The first two years were pretty nice. It was just me, and Essie, and Mike, once they were married and we let him in on the secret.