Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 126425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 632(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 421(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 632(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 421(@300wpm)
“And that’s who Steve Smith is. That’s the Steve Smith I believe I know. So that’s why I don’t think you should apologize. Because you didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve done everything right. Both spellings. I mean, R-I-G-H-T and W-R—”
“Yeah, no, I get it,” Steve interrupts.
“Oh, okay, good. So. Anyway.”
Shawn, Terry, and Luke stare, mouths open. Finally, Terry unmutes himself and says, “Holy shit. Dude, I get why you can’t stop talking about her.”
I catch myself smiling. “You can’t?”
“I may have brought your name up once or twice.” Steve smiles too.
“Um. So,” I start, “I’m just suddenly realizing how public this is. And that’s giving me kind of a minor panic attack, so I should go, but… Do you wanna… have dinner sometime? With, y’know, me?”
“Uh. Yes. How’s…” He looks at his watch. “Now?”
“Now? Now’s good.”
We both smile. And Terry jumps back in.
“Awesome! He’s staying with me! Because I’m his best friend.” He says it pointedly. Luke and Shawn roll their eyes. “The address is—”
“Bro!” Steve shouts. “You might wanna…”
“Oh, ha. Right! I’ll just… know what? I’ll just DM it to you in the chat.”
He does. Then he clicks his camera off. So do Shawn and Luke as they wave goodbye.
“Guess it’s just you and me,” Steve says.
“Yeah. And a million and a half of our closest friends.”
We both wave.
“So… I’ll, um, I’ll see you later, I guess,” he mutters, with a grin.
“Yeah. You will.”
“Feel like we have plenty to catch up on.”
“Little bit.”
There’s another awkward moment where we smile at each other like mooning teenagers before Steve says, “Oh, shoot. There’s one thing I forgot to say.”
“What’s that?”
He gets close to the camera and in his growliest Tank Watson voice says, “Fuck you, Leslie. I’ll see you in court.”
The he sits back, winks at what I know is me, and his camera goes black.
Ding.
GARY: Well… congrats, kid. It takes a special kind of talent to make a career flame out before it’s even started, but you managed it. Good lyck.
(I assume he meant to type “Good luck.”)
What did I just do? What did I just…?
I look around at my little pool house, strewn with clothes, and I think about what I’m going to do now. I just very publicly threw my emerging name and reputation behind a guy who the world is accusing of being a liar, a misogynist, and who knows what. And I went to bat for him.
What the hell did I just do?
I know exactly what I did.
I chose Hope.
I didn’t leave him to die on the side of a mountain. I chose to stand with someone who stood with me and who lifted me up to heights I didn’t know I could achieve.
I’d rather stay in this pool house for the rest of my life and be a struggling author writing the stories I wanna write than play by a set of rules that say in order to succeed, I have to betray a man who only wanted to lift me up the mountain.
If the parallels to the story I wrote, the one Britney encouraged me to write, do hold, then… then eventually the Park Service will be by to rescue me with their helicopter. As I say, I know a deus ex machina isn’t the most elegant way to end a story, but sometimes it’s the right way.
Ding.
AUDREY: Holy shit, that was amazing. Cynthia Lear, you are the f’ing bomb.
That’s nice. It’s nice that Audrey—
Ding.
EDEN: Bitch, that was the most rockstar shit I’ve ever seen. Don’t worry, chica. The queen bitch has your back.
Wow. Eden Le Fay even said something ni—
Ding.
RAVEN: The most romantic thing I’ve seen anyone do since before my husband passed.
Oh. Holy—
Ding.
MOM: Honey, I got a call from someone who told me to watch this Sneetch website and that you were on it. So I did. I’m proud of you, Cordelia. That was not only one of the most courageous things I’ve ever seen someone do, the monologue you spun out (off the top of your head, I assume) was a triumph. Brava, my girl! You are so very talented. The romance world is lucky to have you in it. Let’s talk soon.
XO
Mom.
And, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes, I look toward the screen of my computer and through the glistening, I notice a chat.
I was so amped up before that I wasn’t really paying attention, but there’s a chat stream running along the side of the screen. I’m hesitant to read any of the comments because… well, it’s the internet and I didn’t just show up here on Earth. It’s not always the kindest place. But then I notice thousands of little heart emojis popping up and floating away.
Because of course they are.
Because that’s the point of romance.
To make you feel something.
And I guess I just did.
So, with some caution, I lean in to try to catch some of what people are commenting.