Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 144404 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 722(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 481(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 144404 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 722(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 481(@300wpm)
Tix leaned over to pour the tea with a practiced hand. “I was going to ask Lord Sloane if it’s all right if I send word. Or perhaps I could take the hounds to her dimension myself. It’s been a while since I saw my mother.”
“You visit her every week,” Gray pointed out.
“Only because she would be lonely without me. And we so enjoy watching a spot of television together. Mistress, you must watch Survivor Hell Plane with us. It’s so funny when they vote out the demon and he gets eaten by whatever sponsored the week’s show. One time it was a group of demons promoting their cooking show.”
I hadn’t started binging Hell plane shows yet. “I don’t want to know, do I?”
“Let’s just say it was a Survivor/Top Chef crossover that you can’t find in the human world. Such fun. And I learned a lot about properly seasoning a marine-based demon. You don’t want to overcook it.”
“Tix, I need to make this plain to you,” I began, my belly turning slightly. “I know I may seem to be the kind of wolf who will eat anything…”
“I would never feed you demon,” Tix said, passing me a cup of tea.
Crizzelo’s eyes went wide. “There is no demon in the cakes, Lady Sloane. I promise. And the sandwiches are ham and salmon from the Earth plane. We had it delivered.”
I wondered if Amazon had drivers on the Hell plane. “That’s good to know.”
“I certainly wouldn’t serve them to a pregnant female,” Tix was saying. “You don’t know how it will affect you. Certainly demon flesh can have an effect on the consumer. Think of it as one last fuck you on the demon’s way to a next life.”
I was curious about how they dealt with death here in Hell. I took the tea but put it down because Eddie hadn’t made it for me, and until I could use the charm Lee had given me, I wouldn’t be consuming anything. “I wasn’t aware the Hell plane believed in multiple lives.”
“That’s my fault, baby.” Gray did take his tea. “I never exactly talked about the ins and outs of demonic religion.”
“I would think they wouldn’t be religious.”
Tix gasped and clutched where his pearls should be. He was a very dramatic demon. “Of course we are. We simply have a different set of values. And though we’re immortal, we can obviously be killed under the right circumstances. Those circumstances include being foolish enough to think you’re going to win a game show when your personality is obnoxious to the extreme. I have no idea what that demon was thinking.”
Crizzelo’s lips curled up, showing off sharp fangs. “I like the show Nailed It. If you don’t get it right, they nail you to the wall, and you spend the rest of the show hanging there. It’s fun.”
Tix shrugged. “They don’t even die on that show. Though the moans of pain and begging for sustenance is amusing.”
We had totally different versions of amusing.
“Okay, as a wolf who has on occasion gotten heated in battle and maybe taken a hunk of demon flesh,” Trent began, “what exactly do you mean by have an effect?”
My wolf hubby wasn’t discriminating when it came to fueling up during battle. Or after. Or before. Trent liked to eat, and he definitely liked to try a variety of snacks.
Fenrir sat up and looked less like a decadent wolf king and more like the worried twenty-something he actually was. “I had some belly trouble after we ate that thing last night. You remember the one with five arms?”
The fact that he had to qualify it made me worry. “How many weird Hell plane creatures have you two gone through already?”
“You ate Harold?” Tix asked, shock in his tone.
Shit. “I’m sure they didn’t.”
“Did Harold have three eyes and breath like a fart?” Trent asked.
Tix teared up and nodded.
“Then yeah, we ate him,” Trent said matter of factly. “In our defense, he tried to eat us first.”
“And I’ve still got indigestion,” Fen added. “He was a little gamey. Sorry, Tix. Gray said we could eat anything in the forest.”
“He’s acting,” Gray said with a sigh. “He’s being a dick. I assure you Tix doesn’t go walking in the forest making friends with the demonic equivalent of a moose.”
“They are speaking of the zazalnax,” Crizzelo explained. “It is a common creature and extremely aggressive.”
I wanted to point out that our moose don’t have five arms, but I was caught on an idea.
Tix grinned, all tears fleeing. “Well, it is fun to tease them, Master. As the maid said, what you ate is a common creature here, and you should suffer no ill effects from your meal. Next time bring the carcass home. I do an excellent roast, and Lady Sloane can enjoy it. Hopefully. I’m not sure since she hasn’t touched her tea.”