Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 95340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
"What was that?" Brodie whispers.
“We both know exactly what that is," I reply, my heart racing in my chest. "This time is sounded like it came from... that wall?"
I point to the wall nearest my closet, where the original hole is.
Brodie nods, his brow furrowing we strain to listen for any further signs of disturbance.
“Maybe that was the TV?”
“God I hope so.”
I can’t handle any more drama from the squirrel in the wall. Not tonight, not ever! The only thing I want is to snuggle with my damn boyfriend, not worry about this dumb animal!
“That scratching is pretty loud,” Brodie mutters, throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed.
“Do you think…”
The sound of drywall hitting the carpet has me straining to see in the dim bedroom, my eyes adjusting well enough to see a small and very familiar furry head poking its way out of the wall, its beady eyes fixed on us with a curious gaze.
I gasp in shock, clutching the blankets tightly to my chest as I stare at the unexpected intruder.
“Holy shit!” I practically shout. “Jesus, there it is.”
Brodie, my ever-composed boyfriend who’s supposed to be cool and collected, jumps back with a yelp, his usually stoic demeanor shattered by this unexpected intrusion.
"Jeez this thing has the worst fucking timing!" he exclaims, his voice tinged with equal parts disbelief and exasperation.
I let out a startled squeal, scrambling back on the bed, as far away from the furry intruder I can.
The squirrel regards us with a tilt of its head, its tiny claws poking out of the drywall surrounding it, framing him like a tiny piece of artwork. His nose twitches with curiosity and mischief.
“Is it bad that I feel bad for him? He seems lost.” He’s obviously trapped in my wall and isn’t finding his way out. “Do you think he has food?”
“Dude. I don’t know but I’m about to piss my pants,” Brodie whispers. “I’m going to walk forward and hopefully he goes back inside and then I’ll tape up the hole.”
“Right. Got it. Tape up the hole.”
Do I have tape? Where is it?
I see some on the desk but it’s the kind you use when you wrap a present and not the kind you use to ship a package.
It will have to do for now.
From my vantage point on the bed, I watch as Brodie cautiously edges closer to our uninvited guest, his movements slow and deliberate.
"Easy there, little guy," he cooes, voice a soothing contrast to the chaos unfolding around us. "We're not going to hurt you."
As if understanding Brodie’s words, the squirrel cocks its head to the side before disappearing back inside the hole in a blur of fur.
“Thank god!” I collapse onto the covers. “I do not need a new roommate.”
"I feel like you might be stuck with him?" Brodie remarks, his tone light with amusement as he begins taping up the hole. He uses long, foot long pieces, rubbing over it so it sticks to the paint. "Think we should name him?"
“No we should not name him!”
“Why not?”
“Because. He is rude and he isn’t welcome in here! That’s why!”
Brodie ignores me, on his eighth piece of tape. He adds several more pieces before taking hold of my dresser and dragging it to the hole, pushing it to stand in front of it.
"How about... Archie?" he suggests.
My lips twitch. “No. We’re not naming him.”
“But if we’re going to get a dog together someday, we should start small. Just to see how it goes.”
My mouth drops open. “You want to get a dog with me someday?”
He nods. “But first, a squirrel?”
My head shakes in defiance, still unwilling to name the little bastard.
“What about Mister VonSquirrel McStuffins?”
I laugh. “That’s horrible. He’d hate it.”
“Ahh.” He climbs onto the bed beside me. “Admit it, you think he might like us.”
“He does not like us, he’s out to get us.”
Brodie chuckles, his laughter reverberating through my bedroom room. “Stanley.”
“No. Just because Stanley rhymes with squirrel doesn’t mean I think it’s cute.”
Even though it’s pretty darn cute.
“Doc Nutterpants,” Brodie tries again.
I laugh.
“Nutty?” he asks.
I cock my head, not hating it. “Eh.”
"Nutty it is," he replies, eyes sparkling with amusement. "Welcome to the family, little guy."
EPILOGUE
NUTTY
Get rid of me? As if it were going to be that easy?
I mull the conversation from last night over in my teeny walnut sized brain, nose twitching when another squirrel hops past me in a nearby tree.
Sheila.
What is she doing here?
Thought she split before winter because there weren’t enough acorns and she couldn’t stand the sight of me?
Anyway.
I see the two humans from the house; as they chatter away, their voices drift up to me on the gentle breeze, I couldn't help but eavesdrop on their conversation. Ah, the joys of being a squirrel with impeccable hearing…
“…we have to get rid of him. I couldn’t sleep last night, I was so paranoid. It’s going to take Mark days to get this shit figured out. He’s useless.”