Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 71246 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71246 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
I go back to the fridge and pour her a little bowl of milk. I take it back to her, and she watches me skittishly from across the porch, waiting until I’m back behind the screen door before she comes to look at it. I need her to know she is safe too, whatever that looks like for her.
The floor creaks behind me, and Jude walks in. She spots the boxes of tea and the mug, opening each box, sniffs inside before choosing one. Maybe they did not have teas where she came from, or maybe they had something other than these standard ones. Weird.
The little gray crumpet on the porch meows and looks up at me as I look back down.
“Yeah, she is getting some tea. You’ve had your booze, she’s getting hers, and I have mine.” I lift my cup to show the kitten. “Now, all we need is a partridge in a pear tree.”
Jude walks over to see who I’m talking to and looks down. She gasps in surprise when she sees the kitten.
“Hi, little guy!” she coos.
“It’s a girl.”
“I can call a girl a guy.” She brushes me off. “Hi, little guy. Where is your mama?”
The kitten meows and wanders toward the door and Jude’s voice.
It hits me then. I realize the two of them are just alike. No mama, same as me, but the two of them were too young for such hard realities.
Jude very quietly and very slowly opens up the door a tiny crack and puts her finger through the opening at the bottom. The little kitten comes over and sniffs it, shocking me. I had never been able to get within two feet of her without her dashing away and under the porch.
I watch as she tests her finger and eventually rubs herself against that finger for a pet. I wait another moment, and I can hear an audible purr. My jaw slackens, and my eyes go wide. I’m dumbfounded.
For several minutes, I’m afraid to move, worrying that I will disturb their little cuddle party. My heart is happy to see that she can be affectionate with someone, and it dawns on me that I feel that way about both the kitten and the girl.
Jude is getting something back from it. That has got to be good for her.
After a bit, Jude pulls her finger back, stands up, and moves past me to find a chair and sip her tea. This feels a lot like something, something I can’t put my finger on.
“In 20 minutes, I need to leave.”
I nod, take the last swig of my coffee, set the cup on the counter, and I’m gone. Shower time.
Driving her to school, we ride in silence. I still feel uneasy around her, on guard, as if anything I do will shoot her the wrong way, set her off, make her pull back, or cause her to have a bad day. I do not know what she needs. All I know is that safety is one of them.
We move through the streets in silence. Past school crossings and helicopter parents dropping off kids, commuters going to work, pedestrians doing regular, normal things, just like us, but there is nothing normal or regular about either of us. Or, what is between us.
I still remember that first night. When she wanted to come home with me, a perfect stranger, and initiated sex. I sensed then that she didn’t have enough experience for those moments. I was one-hundred percent sure she had given me her virginity, and I knew with that came great responsibility.
But I did not want just a responsible role related to it. I wanted her. I had not been able to get her out of my mind. I did not know what she really wanted. I did not know what was good for her, either. I just knew that I wanted to be part of the equation in a big way. And I wanted to keep her safe.
Pulling up to her school, I look over at her. She looks at me and smiles a bit crookedly. Like she does not want to smile, but she knows she should, at least, for the ride. I understand it is simply awkwardness and have no need to push, so I nod, and she hops out. Closing the door in a flash.
I realize there is only so much I have control over, and part of me was going to have to get used to that, though I want to do recon on every person in the school and stand guard outside her classrooms. That is a bit ridiculous, but she is my only mission. Her safety is my only concern. I look at the time on the dash. I have a little time before I have to be at work, but I might as well head over now. The drive is peaceful, serene, and it gives me time to reflect on my thoughts. By the time I arrive, I’m feeling a little lighter.