Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 122219 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 611(@200wpm)___ 489(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122219 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 611(@200wpm)___ 489(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
“Yes,” I confessed.
“I think that’s what happened. You feared that he liked it. That he loved it even, because that went against a core belief in your system.”
“What belief is that?”
“That you, Avery, are unlovable. Nathan coming along to challenge that belief is a lot for your system to break down and understand.”
Tears pinched at the back of my eyes. I looked down at my hands for a moment, but no words came out.
“It also scares you,” she continued. “Having him love you, I mean. Because you like to control tasks, and you can’t control the outcome of his love. You can’t pace it or shape it to fit beside your triggers. That’s his ship to sail. How he loves you is something you cannot steer. Love has no reins. That scares you.”
“Terrifies me.”
She nodded. “Understandable. But do you know the cool thing about love having no reins?”
“What’s that?”
She leaned forward and whispered, “It has no reins. Imagine how much love he could feed you if you opened up said book again. Imagine how deeply another could care for you, how much you could care for them, if you found the courage to read each other’s hard pages out loud together. Imagine a love that doesn’t rot. Imagine a love story that only grows.”
“Dang,” I muttered, shaking my head. “You’re worth every penny.”
She grinned. “I’ll see you next week.”
47
NATHAN
AUGUST
As Avery walked up to the field for our August meeting, she narrowed her eyes toward me with a suspicious stare. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, waving a finger in my direction.
“Like what?”
“Like you have something up your sleeves, with that wicked smile and all,” she urged, gesturing toward me.
I took a few steps in her direction and crossed my arms over my chest. “There’s nothing wicked about my smile.”
Her brows rose. “Oh, there’s something extremely wicked about your smile. What’s going on?”
“I figured maybe for today’s meeting, we could do something a little different.”
She pulled out a hair tie and tossed her long hair up into a high ponytail. “Like?”
I flicked my thumb against my bottom lip. “I figured maybe you’d like to ride my stallion.”
“Nathan!” Avery gasped, her eyes widening as if I’d just asked her to fuck me on home plate.
Though, I wouldn’t be opposed to that idea…
“Chill. Not this stallion.” I gestured over to the horse walking around the fenced in field. “That one.”
Her eyes wandered over to Lightning, who was wandering around, eating some grass. It was a perfect day for a ride, and I knew Avery had been thinking about giving it a go from what my mother told me.
A shot of nerves raced through her body as she shook her head. “Oh, no. It’s been so long…”
“He loves you. He’ll let you ride.”
“I don’t know…”
“You scared?”
“A little,” she confessed.
I held a hand out toward her. “That’s all right. We can do things scared.”
“What if he doesn’t want me to ride? I don’t know. I’m just…”
“Coach,” I cut in.
“Yeah?”
“Do you trust me?”
She hesitated for a moment before she placed her hand into mine.
I got Avery saddled up, and Lightning was more than willing to allow her on board. I leaned against the fence as Avery took my big boy for a few spins. They looked good together. Always had. Always would.
In that split moment, I was a young boy watching a young girl riding my Lightning for the first time. And there, once more, I began to fall in love all over again.
I didn’t know falling in love was a repeated action. I used to think it happened once and then it was locked in. But it was clear to me now that the falling never ceased. I was in a free fall, tumbling down more and more for the woman in front of me.
When it came to my love for her, I’d hope I’d never touch solid ground.
In August, Avery laughed more than ever before.
She laughed at my good jokes.
She laughed at my bad ones even more.
That made it a good month for me.
48
AVERY
SEPTEMBER
“Rumor has it that it’s someone’s birthday,” Nathan mentioned as he walked out to the pitcher’s mound, where I was already waiting for our first OSS meeting of September. He had a box in one hand and a food container in the other.
I smiled. “Let me guess, a sister of mine told you about it.”
He sat down beside me and shook his head. “I remembered it from when we were younger.”
“Then you also recall how I don’t like celebrating birthdays.”
“Yeah, but a little homemade cake never hurt anyone.” He opened the container and revealed a beautiful cake with lavender frosting and beautiful yellow piping around the edges. “I present to you a hummingbird cake.”
My mouth parted slightly. “That’s my favorite dessert. My mom used to make it for me all the time.”