Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Those words stung, but I tried my best to swallow them down.
He would’ve been disappointed, but what did that matter? He was no longer around to scold me. Instead, I was forced to walk through each day without his guiding light.
I was certain my outburst would get back to Grandma, though, so I had that to look forward to later on.
Busy, busy, I need to stay busy.
My mind was the loudest it had been in years. It was as if I couldn’t find peace no matter where I went. The memory of Willow haunted me, day in and day out. I’d see things that she’d like, and I’d want to tell her. I’d smell things that reminded me of her perfume. I’d touch things and want her input.
I missed her. I missed her so much, and I hated myself for doing so. I wished I knew how to turn it off. How to stop missing the person who’d walked away so easily.
I stood in my backyard, chopping wood. I wanted to get it all stacked up in my shed before winter came. I could feel the cold front pushing through the trees. I should’ve already packed up my boat and stored it, but I’d hoped for a few more days out on the water before I was forced to take a break from fishing until it was time to do so on the ice in January.
“You need some help with that? Or are you getting out some pent-up energy?” Grandma asked, walking over toward me.
I wiped my brown plaid shirt against my sweaty forehead as I turned to see her. She was wearing one of PaPa’s oversized jackets, and for some reason, that tugged at my beat-up heart. I turned back to the piece of wood sitting on the chopping block, wound up the axe, and split the wood in half. Afterward, I stuck the axe into the chopping block, then wiped my hands against my jeans.
“Just finishing up. What’s up?” I asked as I picked up the chopped pieces of wood. I tossed them into the shed before turning back to Grandma.
She pulled out a piece of paper and held it up. “Did Willow leave you a letter, too?”
I grumbled, lifted another piece of wood, removed the axe from the chopping block, then placed the wood down. “Yup,” I muttered before slicing the wood.
“Did you read it?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t matter what it says. She’s gone. She made that clear as fucking day. Don’t need a goodbye letter to cement the fact.”
“But she left the letters for a reason.”
“Yeah. To run away from any guilt she had about leaving. I’d rather not give her that comfort.”
I split another piece of wood.
“Now, Theo—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped, the rage of the whole situation building up in my system. I didn’t want to talk about Willow Kingsley ever again. I didn’t want to discuss my heartbreak or have someone tell me that Willow made a very hard choice. I didn’t want to be told that she did it from a place of love. That she left me because she figured it was what was best for me. That she abandoned me in order to protect me from her. Because it was bullshit. All of it was bullshit, and I didn’t want to understand Willow’s reasoning. I didn’t want to show her grace at that time. Because she broke my fucking heart!
So fuck her letters and her reasoning.
She walked away.
She left me alone.
Even after I begged her to stay.
I promised myself I’d never beg for someone to stay ever again. I’d never drop down to my knees and ask someone not to walk away from me. I promised I’d be stronger than I’d been in the past. But I wasn’t. I begged her. I pleaded. I became weak at her feet all because of love.
Fucking love and its fucking bullshit ways of breaking people’s fucking hearts.
I didn’t want to talk about Willow ever again.
If anything, I wanted to bleach away the thoughts of her that haunted my soul. I dreamed of her nightly, yet the dreams felt like nightmares because whenever I’d wake, she’d still be gone.
So fuck Willow Kingsley.
Fuck her for waking up my heart and then leaving it shattered in a million pieces.
Grandma unfolded her letter and began to read it. “‘Dear Molly.’”
“Don’t do this, Grandma,” I urged.
She kept reading. “‘I’m sad to say that my time in Westin Lake has come to an end, but I hope you know that our friendship is something that I hope will exist past the reality of space and time. You have shown me what real power and strength look like in a woman, and I hope to be exactly like you as I grow older. Thank you for welcoming me into your world and allowing me to get a small taste of heaven. For a little while in Westin Lake, I felt as if I were dancing in nothing other than sunbeams. I know that’s because of you and your family’s love. Call me when you need me, and I’ll be there. I love you, friend, and I’ll miss you. PS I love him. I know you didn’t ask, and I know it might not seem to matter now that I’m leaving, but I love your grandson more than I ever thought possible. Please take care of his heart. I know it’s probably hurting a little.’ Signed, Willow.”