Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
“Listen. I think we just need a breather. We are in Mercury retrograde, which can cause communication confusion. We should go dip in the water and cleanse the negative energy away from us.”
“Willow.”
“Yes.”
“I’m never cleansing off my negative energy with you.”
She shrugged. “Suit yourself. But if you ever need healing energy, you know where to find me.” She headed through the house toward the lake, swaying her hips back and forth. My eyes betrayed me, and I watched those damn hips the whole time they moved.
My stare was only interrupted by my front door flying open. In marched Jensen with no eye contact at all. He darted through the house without muttering a word to me and went straight out the back door to the patio. I followed his steps slowly to find him sitting and pouting in one of the rocking chairs.
I instantly knew what was happening because whenever Jensen was annoyed with Peter, he’d show up at my place, storm through my house, and go sit in one of the two rocking chairs. Most people would’ve thought that him sitting in those chairs was a random act and wouldn’t read into it too much.
I knew better, though.
Jensen’s mom, Thalia, made those two rocking chairs for me before she passed away. They were a “just because” type of gift. She’d always go above and beyond, and whenever someone would ask why she’d done what she’d done, she’d simply shrug and say, “Just because.”
I didn’t like many people, but Thalia was on the list of good ones. She was way too good for Peter and way too forgiving of him, too. Unlike Peter, Thalia didn’t come from a comfy background. She worked hard her whole life and still struggled. Peter made sure to remind Thalia of her shortcomings whenever he could because he was the definition of a shitty person.
But what Thalia didn’t have in possessions, she had in heart. I figured that was the best kind of revenue.
It was a shame that she lost her life shortly after childbirth. Jensen would’ve loved his mother, and Thalia would’ve loved her son. They had so much in common. I bet their hearts beat the same, too.
It was a certain kind of bullshit that good people could die young. The world hadn’t had enough time to experience their love.
The chair Jensen sat in rocked back and forth. They weren’t just chairs to him. They were his mother. They were her warmth. Her calmness. Her gentle heart. Her love.
And when Jensen needed his mother, he’d sit with her in those chairs and rock for hours.
I never rushed him. He could’ve stayed forever if he wanted to. If I had it my way, his father would stay out of the picture.
Every time Peter let Jensen down, I wanted to stomp Peter’s face with the heel of my boots. What a fucking nightmare.
Jensen sat down on my back porch, keeping his distance from me. He probably knew how pissed off I was toward his father and didn’t want to deal with defending him. Maybe that was what upset me the most. The poor kid went to bat for his father all the time as if Jensen wasn’t being raised by a total tool.
Then again, I wasn’t the best at pep talks. I knew every time Peter disappointed his son, Jensen took that to heart, even if he didn’t say a word about it.
A lot of guys didn’t talk about what hurt them. We simply buried that shit deep and kept life moving. Sometimes, being a man felt like the loneliest thing in the world. Women had each other in a way that men did not. They talked and expressed their feelings on a deeper level, which probably led them down a road of healing.
Us men were told from a young age to suck it up and keep it moving.
Sometimes I wondered what it would feel like to just…feel.
To let the world know that some days sucked and some were so painfully sad.
Instead, we men kept it moving, pretending to be fine when our hearts were broken. I knew Jensen felt that way whenever a moment came up when he should’ve had his mother present.
Thalia passed away not long after Jensen was born. Even though he never knew her, he missed her every day. Losing a mother’s love was hard. Mourning the relationship you’d never have. That kind of hurt left an emptiness within one’s soul that was pretty damn impossible to seal up. I was pretty sure my heart was still wrapped tightly with caution tape.
Caution: Don’t get too close. Fragile when touched.
I cleared my throat as I walked toward the back door of my place. As I pushed it open, the screen door creaked, the constant reminder that I needed to oil up the springs sooner rather than later. I probably needed to tighten a bolt, too. I possibly needed a whole new door. I’d add it to my ever-growing to-do list. I didn’t mind the to-do list at all. My mind worked best when it was overloaded with tasks to do. It didn’t leave much time for me to overthink anything if I was busy.