Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 73699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“Actually, I don’t know that I’m going back.”
He blinks. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I’ll have to go back to California for a while, at least. My company’s there, my apartment. But being back here in New York has felt really right. I want to mend things with my parents, continue reconnecting with past friends. I’ve been toying around the idea of starting something new, and New York’s just as good a place to do that as San Francisco. Better, in some ways.”
I haven’t really realized that was the plan until I say it out loud. But saying it makes me realize how right it feels. There will be a lot of details to work out, obviously. Friends to say goodbye to, colleagues who will be more than a little shocked, but even knowing there will be some pain, I feel excited.
Colin had been right when he told me I seemed bored whenever I talked about my job, but diving a bit deeper, I’ve realized I’m bored when I think about San Francisco too. Not because the city itself is boring. I love that city.
But I’m also realizing that it’s served its purpose. California was a place, first, for me to escape. And after that, a place to grow up. But it’s time for the next chapter, and my gut tells me that chapter’s here in Manhattan.
Colin is still staring at me in disbelief. “You’re staying here.”
“Well, not here,” I say, gesturing around our apartment. “That might be a little cozy once Rebecca moves in. Unless you’re moving to her place—or getting a new place, or—”
“We haven’t talked about it yet.”
I swallow. “Well, anyway. I don’t really know the details, and I haven’t decided for sure, but if I do stick around, maybe we could like, you know … be friends.”
“Friends.”
“Yeah, like … maybe we could even double date!” I say brightly.
“With whom?”
“With you and Rebecca!” I say, exasperated.
“And? You and—?”
“Well, I’m not seeing anyone yet, but eventually I will. But look, if it’s too weird, I’ll get it. Even though we won’t be exes in the traditional sense of the word, I can totally see how Rebecca wouldn’t exactly love spending time with your ex-wife.”
And how I wouldn’t exactly love spending time with your current wife.
“Yeah. Sure. We’ll figure it out,” Colin says.
It’s a classic blow-off, and I know chances of my double date scenario ever happening are slim to none, and that’s probably a good thing.
“I’ll miss you though,” I blurt. “I mean I’ll miss this. I’ll miss …” Hmm. “This whole situation hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be.”
“Such lofty compliments.” His eyes warm as he gives me a slow smile that’s extremely appealing.
“Yeah, well. Don’t let it go to your head.”
He looks amused at the cliché, slightly lame comeback. His smile turns a bit cocky, as though he knows I’m off my game. Worse, as though he knows why I’m off my game.
“Right. Well, if you’re sure about sleeping out here … goodnight.” Still hugging the pillow, I step to the side to move toward the bedroom.
Colin moves at the same time, trying to move out of my way, but moving in the same direction as me, blocking my path. I move to the other side just as he does the same, so we’re doing that awkward “you go, no, you go” dance.
I let out a laugh, but it’s more of an exhale because I suddenly realize how close we’re standing. I freeze, my eyes lifting to his.
There’s no hint of a smile on his face now, and his eyes seem to burn both bleak and hot as they lock onto mine.
His head dips lower, and I feel his breath on my cheek. “Charlotte.”
“Colin,” I whisper back.
He swallows and eases even closer, his gaze leaving mine to drop to my lips.
His eyes close, but other than that he doesn’t move, his expression as tortured as I feel. “Damn it, Charlotte,” he says on a breath, his voice rough.
My eyes drift closed as I feel his minty breath against my mouth, and even though I know it’s so, so wrong, I will him to kiss me. I send a silent prayer to the heavens to do everything else right in my life to make up for this one wrong moment that I want more than I’ve ever wanted anything.
It feels as though we’re locked in time, not touching, but not moving away from each other either, a million things passing between us that we don’t dare say.
“I can’t,” he whispers, still close enough that I can feel the rejection.
Then he steps back and the air goes colder, my heart growing a little colder with it.
“Goodnight,” he says, his voice rough as he stands a safe, respectable distance away from me.
“Night.” My eyes water as I say it, and I move quickly past him before he can see the tears.