Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
How long until you kill me?
She has no idea how much it hurts me, how much it pains me that she thinks I will discard her, murder her and move on. The memory of that night plays like an old movie in my mind, hot metal mixed with the metallic scent of blood. The contents in my stomach churn. I look down at my fists and see more blood. There’s always blood on my hands. Either my own or someone else's. It doesn’t matter who it belongs to.
A small part of me wants to sink down onto the carpet and stay there. To end it all, because maybe she is better off without me. Maybe all I’ll ever be is a disgusting monster. I don’t fucking know. Yes, I do. That’s a lie. I'm as unable to walk away from her as I'm willing to let someone take her from me. Even if I ruin her...there's no way I’ll ever let her go. Not now, not ever.
Her fate was sealed the night she let me claim her.
The sound of a door opening and then closing pulls me from my thoughts. I know it’s the doctor without even having to look, but I do so anyway, glancing at him over my shoulder. He pauses for a moment, like he’s thinking about his next step, but then continues forward as if he’s made up his mind already, glass crunching beneath his shoes. I don’t want him to see me like this, not again.
It was bad enough the one time, but a second time… I don’t think so.
I can feel his eyes on me, roaming over my bruised knuckles. “She was very upset when you left, so I gave her another sedative, something small to take the edge off. She’ll be up in a few hours, and I think you should be in the room when she wakes up.”
I nod my head and turn to face the wall once again. He doesn't need to see the sheen in my eyes. The blood on my skin. Thankfully, he doesn’t press further and continues walking toward the stairs. As I breathe slowly, in through my nose and out through my mouth, the thundering of my own pulse in my ears lessens. The black cloud of anger dissipates, and I’m closer to baseline than I was five minutes ago. I have a huge mess to clean up but that doesn’t matter.
I look at the carnage I caused, and then for some reason my gaze is pulled back towards the stairs. It’s not so much a reason, as it is more a person. Bel stands on the landing of the stairs, her blonde hair pulled back in a messy bun and a frown settled on her lips. She’s wearing a thick sweater and blue jeans, and all I can think is how fucking different we are.
How maybe she’d also be better off without me.
Then I blink and watch as she transforms into this warrior of a woman who marches right up to me, her chin high, her jaw clenched tight.
What is she doing here?
I don't face her, not entirely. Turning, I put my back to the wall, but all that does is drag her attention to it. Does it really fucking matter? If she sees the destroyed furniture, or my bloody knuckles? Her opinion on this means shit, so no.
Lifting my head, I hold my chin high and proud and cross my arms over my chest defiantly. I don’t know what she expects of me, but she better lower her standards because all she will find is disappointment.
"What the fuck, Seb?"
I force a shallow breath into my lungs. "What do you want, Bel? In case the broken glass and destroyed furniture isn’t proof enough, now isn’t really a good time.”
Her gaze remains locked on mine until she spots my hands. I’m not sure what emotion I see there first. Sadness? Pity? Anger? She snatches my left hand and holds it up away from our bodies to get a better look.
The gold wedding band splattered with blood gleams in the dim lighting.
"You’re joking right? Because if this is true…if you really got married and didn’t tell me...” Disappointment bleeds into her words as she trails off, searching my face for the answers.
I don’t need her disappointment, pity, or anger. I don’t need anything.
I jerk my hand away. "It's none of your business."
"Excuse me, but I'm your sister. I have a right to know if my brother gets married. I can only imagine how epically pissed you would be if I ran off and hitched myself to Drew.”
“That would not be a wise decision.”
She rolls her eyes, “Double standard much?”
“Not even close to the same situation.”
I’m a key witness to her irritation, which intensifies the longer she stands here. “What the hell is going on with you? I can’t say I’m surprised when something crazy happens, but I was flabbergasted when Drew told me what you did tonight.. It’s not like you. Of all the people in my life, you’re the last one I thought would be capable of forcing someone to marry you. Is that even legal?”