Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
“I hoped things were going to carry on between us,” I admit. “We were going to have dinner last night. Talk.”
“And you chickened out?” Jack suggests.
“No. I was a little late back from the office, and when I got home, she’d gone back to Jersey.”
“So she thought you dumped her and fled? Sounds like a twist on Romeo and Juliet,” Jack says.
“With less death involved,” Worth says. “Were you late back because you were scared to have a conversation with her?”
“No,” I say. “I was stuck on a call and we were texting about sushi and then all of a sudden—” I stop and think. “Everything was fine. She knew I was running late. She was going to place an order for sushi for us both and then… and then I said her dad hadn’t shown up for our meeting.”
Worth and Jack look confused as fuck, so I fill them in about Jules’ father turning up on the roof terrace and me trying to take the heat off of Jules by offering to meet with him. I explain briefly about their difficult relationship and his frequent disappearing acts.
“So after you told her about her dad not showing up, she split?” Jack asks.
“Yeah. I hadn’t made the connection until now.”
“And before that she seemed up to continue things with you, or at least talk about it?” Worth clarifies.
“We hadn’t talked yet, but yeah, I thought she was open to it. I guess I had it wrong.”
“Or she got freaked out by her asshole dad and…”
“And?” I ask. “And what? You think she was embarrassed he didn’t show? It doesn’t reflect badly on her. She’s not responsible for him.”
Worth sighs. “Maybe it goes deeper. I’m no shrink, but it sounds like she’s used to the men in her life abandoning her. Or at least, one really important man. An easy way to stop that happening again is by not having men in your life at all.”
Fuck. Worth might not be a shrink, but that theory fits like a glove. “Shit,” I say. “What do I do?”
“I’m not sure,” Worth replies.
“It sounds like you’re onto something though,” Jack agrees. “She’s retreating, trying to be an island. Only relying on the people she’s sure of.”
“But she can be sure of me.”
“Can she?” Worth asks. “I mean, how long have you two been sleeping together? It’s not like you were going to propose to her.”
I stay silent. I hadn’t considered proposing, no. But I don’t hate the idea.
“Were you?” Jack asks.
“It wasn’t part of the plan. Not right now, anyway. But Jules is special. And the more I get to know her, the more I like her. The more time I spend with her, the less time I want to spend without her. She’s smart and beautiful and she makes me laugh and she makes me… better. Happy. At peace.”
I let my own words sink into my brain. Everything I’m saying is true. Jules is it for me. Or she was.
“Have you told her that?” Worth asks.
“Sushi was canceled, I told you.”
“And now it’s too late because she’s taking a cruise around Antarctica for the next three years.”
“No. But she’s made her decision.”
“Sounds like she was scared. And she hasn’t heard what you have to say,” Worth says. “She should.”
Jack clears his throat. “What I’m about to say is meant with love. It might not seem that way, but… if she’s important to you, why’d you let her leave?”
I half snort. “You think I should have handcuffed her to the radiator?”
“No,” Jack says. “I think you should have told her how you feel. You know where she lives. You have her number. If you haven’t shown up on her doorstep yet, there’s a reason.”
“It’s okay to be scared,” Worth says. “Caroline stuck the knife in deep the last time you were vulnerable with a woman. I’m not even going to mention Nadia because she was only around for a nanosecond. But unless you take a risk for Jules, you’re going to lose her. You gotta figure out whether she’s worth it.”
I know she is. As much as I hate to admit it, they’re right—I didn’t fight for Jules. And maybe that’s because I’m scared. Seeing her moving out today hit hard and deep. It felt like she was rejecting me rather than running to protect herself. She needs me to be stronger than my insecurities.
“You’re right. I need to tell her. I need to show her that even when she pushes me away, I’ll still be right where she left me. I need to fight for her.”
“You’re a romantic,” Worth says.
“Apparently,” I reply. “At least when it comes to Jules.”
“It suits you,” Jack says. “She’s lucky to have you.”
And I’m lucky to have shrinks who masquerade as the best friends a man could have.
TWENTY-NINE
Jules
This is my chance. I know it, and I’m determined not to fuck it up. I just wish that a pivotal moment in my career didn’t depend on my not losing it in front of Leo Hart.