Total pages in book: 190
Estimated words: 181992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 910(@200wpm)___ 728(@250wpm)___ 607(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 181992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 910(@200wpm)___ 728(@250wpm)___ 607(@300wpm)
Brooks granted me a firm look. “Don’t go denying it, Addie, you’d be wasting your time. I know you too well for you to fool me about something like this.”
Ugh, he so did. Feeling my shoulders sag in defeat, I exhaled heavily. “It turns out that Dax is easy to care for,” I said, keeping my own voice equally as low. “You could have warned me of that before I married him. I’d have jotted it down on my cons column.”
His lips quirked. “Then I’m glad I didn’t, because you otherwise might not have walked down the aisle with him.”
Honestly, just the thought that I could have made a different decision—that I wouldn’t be where I was now, wouldn’t feel as I did now, wouldn’t have Dax in any way, shape, or form—took my breath away.
Brooks’ expression sobered. “He cares for you, too, you know. I can’t say how much—Dax’s emotions are never easy to sense. But it’s obvious by the way he treats you that you matter to him.”
I gave a slow nod. “Yeah, he openly said something to that effect to Grayden.” The memory warmed my blood and made it easy for me to breathe again.
Brooks frowned. “Grayden?”
“He acted like a bit of an ass.” I relayed what went down in Dax’s office, though I omitted the part where Mimi had a thing for him and simply said she didn’t like that he’d moved on. “It was quite intense.”
“Grayden must have been pissed,” said Brooks with an amused snicker. “Dax sure didn’t make any attempt to hide how possessive he feels, did he? I like that. And I like that he openly admitted it isn’t the only thing he feels for you. I’m glad honoring the pact worked out for you both.” He raked his teeth over his lower lip. “I was worried about you. Worried you’d both regret your decision but stay together anyway because neither of you like to give up on things.”
“I feel no regrets. There was never a moment where I did.”
Brooks cocked his head. “And will you still have zero regrets if you do grow to love him but it transpires that he’ll never love you back? I’m not saying that’ll come to pass, by the way. In fact, I’m hopeful that it won’t. I’m just playing Devil’s Advocate.”
“Of course you are. It’s your thing.” I heaved out a long breath. “If I end up in the love pit but he doesn’t join me there, well, it’ll be hard. But I don’t foresee myself experiencing any regrets. I mean, I walked into this marriage knowing that he didn’t envision himself ever caring for me that way—he wouldn’t have otherwise put a ring on my finger. So I’m prepared for that future.”
“Personally? I think you’ll both be ten inches deep in that love pit you mentioned.” He paused, watching me closely. “I’m going to say something that you might not like hearing.”
I frowned. “Okay.” The word came out edged in wariness.
He leaned forward, resting his lower arms on the table. “I was around when you were with Lake. I saw you two together. Heard the way you talked about and to him. You loved him, I know. But … I never felt like he was the great love of your life, Addie. I never had a moment where I thought you’d found the person you’d spend the rest of your days with.”
I tensed, my gut clenching. “Brooks—”
“Let me finish,” he pled, his voice soft. “When someone dies, we often toot their horn in a major way. We talk of them in glowing terms, remember all their best attributes, and forget about their faults. Right?”
I sighed and reluctantly admitted, “Sometimes, that can happen, yes.”
“And if they suffered before or when they died, it makes us even more likely to put them on a pedestal—I know that from personal experience. I did the same when my dad passed. Truth be told? He was a dick most of the time. But I felt guilty admitting that to myself, so I shoved it aside and clung to the good memories.”
“Lake wasn’t a dick.”
“No, he wasn’t,” Brooks immediately agreed. “But maybe you see the good memories you have of him through a magnified, rose-tinted lens. Maybe you’ve forgotten the other things. Like how he sometimes put you down. Like how he could get ugly when jealous. Like how he prioritized his friends over you right up until he learned about the tumor.”
I bit into the inside of my cheek. Shit, I really didn’t want to reflect on all this. Because I couldn’t actually claim that Brooks was wrong … and that made me feel like crap. “Okay, maybe I have clung tight to the good memories. But there are more good than bad.”
“I’m not saying there aren’t,” he said, lifting a placating hand. He then pointed at the table with one finger as he added, “But ask yourself this: Did you think Lake was your one great true love before he died?”