Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 103102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
“She says it’s raining men.”
“She’s a riot.” Lexi’s laugh dissolves in the air. The lightness fades. Even with the bright sun and the white concrete, the world dims in response to the reality of the situation. “I was going to say hi, but then I saw where she was going. Oncology. That’s where my mom…where we sat, as kids, watching her chemo treatment. I didn’t really understand what it was then, only that what the doctors gave her was supposed to make her better, but it made her sicker. And then she died anyway, and…she was sick before, wasn’t she? Your grandma?”
“More than ten years ago.”
“And this was more than a normal follow-up?”
“Yes.”
This time, she freezes, and everything around her moves. The breeze ruffles the white table linen. The palm trees sway. The sun shines. “Shit.” She moves with a tiny motion of her hand, a half an inch toward mine. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.”
“Is she going to be okay or…?”
“It’s too soon to say.” I don’t know how to explain it, so I fall back to the words she repeated a million times. “The doctor insists her odds are good. And she says she’s fine, that she’s only worried about losing her hair, and about me sticking around for too long, but it’s hard to believe that.”
Lexi’s eyes fill with sympathy. “I know what you mean. Is she trying to stay strong for you, or…” She looks to her sister, watches as Deanna laughs at one of Jake’s bad jokes. “I know I should give you more grace, with the situation, but I overheard your sisters at the house once.”
“Do you eavesdrop on everyone?”
“They were yelling,” she says.
They do yell.
“And they said you’re supposed to leave soon, go back to New York, but you’re arguing about it.”
“That’s what Grandma wants,” I say.
“But you want something else?”
“I want to be here for her,” I say.
She studies me carefully. “And leave, when she doesn’t need you here anymore?”
Right. I see what she’s trying to say. “Deanna knows I don’t plan on staying here forever.”
“She could help, you know. Be here for you.”
“I know,” I say.
“But you won’t tell her?”
“I promised Grandma I wouldn’t say anything.”
“She’s falling in love with you,” she says.
How did I become the focus of this conversation? “I’m supposed to talk to you about Jake.”
“What about him?”
“Talk you into love,” I say. “But you already understand it. The way you sacrifice for her, put her first.”
Lexi shakes her head. “She’s such a hypocrite.”
Probably.
“She denies any help. Pushes it away with a ten-foot pole. Then she insists on inserting herself into my love life.”
“You don’t want her there?”
“I asked for her help this weekend, sure.” She sips her coffee. “With Willa. So I wouldn’t feel so under the microscope. That’s not sexy, you know? It’s not romantic, either. Who can possibly feel like they’re in love with someone they’re expected to love?”
“You want autonomy.”
“Doesn’t everyone?”
I nod. “Deanna explained, the thing with the app. You’re a perfect match?”
“Near perfect.” She nods. “But I hate that, too. I hate the app telling me what to do. Even without the investors and the need for a poster couple…I just want to prove it wrong.”
“You want freedom?” I ask.
She nods.
“But you’re not free, if you reject something because everyone expects it of you. It’s no different than doing something because everyone expects it of you.”
She sits back, thinking it over. “That’s actually really smart.”
“Actually?”
“Let’s face it. Neither of us is known for our brains.”
A laugh spills from my lips. “Only for our beauty?”
She nods obviously. For a moment, lightness fills the table, the air, the resort. Then she shifts back to the matter at hand. “Is that why you want to stay here? Because your grandma wants you to go?”
That’s probably a part of it.
“What will you do,” she says, “if you leave? Are you going to end things with Dee or ask her to come with you?”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Deanna
Jake distracts me with the sort of expertise he could have only learned from Lexi. He asks a technical question about the app. Then he asks another. And another. And another.
I don’t even notice when Lexi comes to pull me away for meeting prep. She helps her boyfriend up, then she pulls him into a deep, slow kiss. A kiss that screams I’m going to have my way with you later. Or maybe I already had my way with you today.
They seem different, somehow. I can’t explain it. I don’t know the logic. Really, I rarely understand the logic when it comes to Lexi.
But they’re here, and they’re happy, and they’re right. And, when she says goodbye to him and leads me back to her room to prep, I find all the signs.
The messy sheets. The open lingerie drawer. The Bluetooth speaker. The empty bottle of champagne sitting in the ice bucket, next to two dirty glasses.