Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
“Give me the full lowdown, I’m all ears,” Josh says, since the thirty second overview in the lobby hardly cut it, but I can’t speak. I’m too drained. Emotionally battered with the ups and downs. “Scrap that. It’s alright, Ells,” my boyfriend says and rests a reassuring hand on my thigh. “We’ll get home, and get you some dinner. You need it.”
I smile through my shakes.
“I need chocolate cake, and cream scones, and a whole pack of chocolate cookies.” I pause. “Oh, and three family size packs of cheesy puffs.”
“I’ll start with a sandwich and then I’ll make a Superman dash to the store, how about that?”
“I’ll love you for ever.”
“Thanks, I’ll be your junk food Superman for ever, if you need one.”
I lean into him. “Nah, it’s unconditional. Junk food Superman or not.” I let out a sigh. “I need to book Mum and Dad into Madon House, ASAP. Hopefully they’ll be packing their cases as we speak.”
“No need,” Josh says. “It’s already done. Call me your emergency suite booking Superman as well.”
“Or just my Superman.”
He kisses my head. “I’ll be your Superman whenever I can be.”
Fuck, I love him so much. I just hope my parents get to see even a fraction of the man he is. It doesn’t matter how much they think they’re going to hate him, he’s too good to refute. Even for Dad. They just need to give him a chance.
Josh makes me a ham and cheese toastie as I flop onto the sofa. I don’t know whether to cry, or smile, or scream. The agony of seeing my parents that way will never go away, but at least they didn’t turn me away without some kind of a hearing. Connor didn’t worm his way into their hearts beyond repair.
I get a message from Mum when Josh is out on his Superman run.
We’ve just checked in. Thank you. x
It’s got a kiss after it, and I sigh in relief.
I frantically type…
Can we meet up? Please? Tomorrow? You haven’t booked a flight, have you? x
My heart is pounding as I wait for a reply, and I jump a mile as Mum’s number flashes up with a call instead of a text.
My voice is shaky when I answer.
“Mum?”
“Of course we’re not getting a flight,” she says. “Ella, there’s plenty to talk about, but we’re here, ok? We’ll see you tomorrow.”
My cards are already so loose they spill right out.
“And will you meet Josh, please? Please, Mum, make your judgement for yourself. Just give it a chance.”
She pauses. “We’ll try. No promises, though. Not yet.”
I breathe.
“Ok, thanks.” Another fucking sob comes out of me. “I missed you so much.”
She tries to hold hers in, but fails.
“Yeah, we missed you too, sweetheart.” She’s losing control, and I hear it. “We’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”
“Ok, love you.”
“Yes, we love you, too.”
I’m numb and mute when my Superman returns with two bags full of junk. He dumps them straight on the sofa, and takes a seat beside me. Boy, I look inside and he really has gone to town. Cookies, scones, cupcakes, chocolate, cheesy puffs. He’s even got jam tarts.
“Thank you.”
“No need for thanks. You can be my junk food Superwoman one day too, if I need one.”
Looking at him, and his beautiful composure – even now – I’m not sure he ever will. He does share some cheesy puffs with me, though. And he eats a jam tart, too. I didn’t know he liked them, so I’ll file that away for future reference.
As the day rolls on, I get more restless. I’d love to sleep but I can’t. I’m too wired. I can just about see Madon House Hotel from our window, its windows bright as twilight hits, and I can’t stop staring at it, knowing my parents are over there. No doubt talking about me.
I only pray they aren’t still sobbing with shame.
I start as Josh takes hold of my shoulders from behind, squeezing gently.
“You’re torturing yourself, Ells. Stop looking.”
“It doesn’t matter if I’m looking or not, I’ll still be torturing myself.”
He wrap his arms around me. “They said they’ll see you tomorrow. Try and rest. They’d hate to think of you chewing yourself up like this.”
He’s right. They would. They raced over here to save me, not torture me.
“Fine, you’re right. I know you are. I’ll stop.”
I let him lead me to the bedroom, and he helps me get undressed, pulling back the covers so I can slide into bed. I want to let my mind go blank, just for a while. I need to break myself away from the conflict and the heartache – and I need to feel loved. I need to be held tight.
I need Josh.
“Get some sleep, baby,” he says, but I grab his arm.
My actions speak volumes, and he succumbs right away, climbing onto the bed next to me, with his suit still on. But he doesn’t stay clothed that long. I’m too frantic to get to his skin, to his flesh, to him.