Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
“Numb, maybe, but there’s more to it than that. It feels like I’ve had a purging of the soul now the final slams of revelation have hit home. I’m over Connor, and I have no shame whatsoever in being an entertainer. It’s what I do, it’s what I love, it’s who I am.” I manage a bitchy grin. “Connor can croon about it for the world and bask in the ocean of fake sympathy from people who haven’t got a clue what the fuck really happened, but it makes no difference to me. I’ll still wake up every morning in bed with Josh, set to go about my awesome new life with a smile on my face.”
It's true.
I never wanted to be a megastar in the public view for the world to see. I just wanted to be loved, and love myself, and that’s what I’ve got now. Loving my career is a side benefit I’d never seen coming. The icing on the cake of happiness, with filthy fairy sprinkles on top.
I only pray Mum and Dad will be able see it that way…
The thought of unveiling the inevitable truth takes me back to the toilet barfing at the Mulberry far more than Connor ever could. Damn it. It better not interfere with my pancakes.
At least I’ve got some time to plan my admission speech in front of my folks.
You’ve been charged with being the whore in Connor’s viral masterpiece. How would you like to plead, Ella?
Guilty.
Ouch.
I turn my attention back to Tiff. She looks a bit defeated herself as she pours the pancake mix into the pan. Her eyes don’t have their usual sparkle. She’s just… flat.
“You really liked Lochlan, didn’t you?” I say, and she jolts.
“What?”
“You were into him. I could see it a mile off.”
Josh nods at my side to back me up, but she swats it away.
“I wasn’t crazy about him, just thought there might be something in it. But it’s cool if he isn’t into me. I probably wouldn’t have been into him either by the time it came to it. And I’m not sure I could handle being with an entertainer. You guys do ok, and Eb does ok and all that, and brill to you, congrats, but me? I’m not sure. Who cares, anyway? We just didn’t gel.”
It’s as though she’s defending herself from an invisible accusation. Something to justify.
Another peek of Tiffany breaking through the confidence of Creamgirl.
“Anyway,” she says. “Talking about pairs of entertainers, how are you two feeling about your upcoming proposal?” She smirks at me as the pan sizzles, what a blatant distraction. “Keen to see Josh get it on, hot and horny with a hot and horny guy?”
“You could say that.” I smile at Josh. “It should be me paying for that pleasure.”
Josh wraps an arm around my shoulder.
“You’ll be getting it on with him as much as I will, and he’ll be a lot to take.”
Tiff looks right at him, eyes digging.
“And how will you feel watching Ella getting fucked by another guy?”
He pauses for just a moment. “We’ll know soon enough, won’t we?”
We’re a few days away from the proposal, but I’m already feeling it. Josh is smiling, but there’s a little something under the surface. A bizarre electric undercurrent about this proposal I can’t fathom.
Something intense looming.
Really fucking intense.
I just wish things would go back to normal. Hopefully they will after Josh and I have had a crazy good night and he sees I’m a hundred times more into him than I will ever be with a stranger, and as for Tiff… I ask Josh about her when we’re done with breakfast and back up to our place.
“Do you think she’ll meet anyone soon?”
He puts the coffee machine on. “She meets people all the time. Plenty of opportunities, not just at work, either. In general.”
“I mean, do you think she’ll fall for anyone? Properly fall for them.”
“That’s an entirely different question.” He makes us a drink and hands mine over. “Like you said at hers, we all have our issues.”
“Did something happen to her? She’s never got over her ex, I know that, and I’ve heard the passing statements, but there was more to it, wasn’t there? There’s more going on.”
He takes a sip of his coffee before he answers.
“Tiff’s secrets are hers to tell, not mine.”
I admire his loyalty. I reach out to take his hand.
“I hope that one day she trusts me enough to tell me herself.”
“I would say that’s likely. Just don’t expect to work magic when she does. You can only help people when they want to be helped. That’s what I’ve found, anyway.”
“She’s an amazing person. Such a superstar.”
“Yes, she is. In the areas she’s comfortable in.”
“At work.”
“When she’s Creamgirl, yes.”
I knew as much. I’m learning so much lately, like I’m on a weird college course of life, love, and being a hooker. I’m learning how thrilling sex can be and so easy to sink into the zone when it means nothing outside of the senses. When it’s a fantasy and you’re playing a character, with no emotional crossover.