Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
I’m his fucking ex, you stupid cow.
Carly carries on chatting away regardless.
I focus every scrap of my attention on my meal while she regales her family with more bullshit about how her twin flame brought her to life. About how incredible a partner he is, so creative, and talented, and magical. Boy, she’s got a lot to learn.
Thankfully, Heather’s roasted parsnips are good enough that they keep the dry heaving at bay, and once tiramisu is done and dusted with an appreciative yum, thank you so much, we are free to go.
I hope Josh’s relatives can’t feel my thumping heart as I hug them goodbye, one by one. I’m grateful that Connor and Carly are bailing at the same time as us, so I don’t have to give them any awkward see you laters and fake smiles as we part ways.
We reach Josh’s Merc as the two C’s reach Carly’s old Mini, and I don’t bother saying goodbye, just give Connor the middle finger and slide into the passenger seat. I tell Josh to go, go, go the very second he can put his foot on the accelerator, and he speeds away, scuffing the mud of the drive up the side of his sister’s Mini.
Oh, the shock on Carly’s face.
The poor cow really doesn’t get it. I almost feel sorry for her, but that’s her business to find out, not mine. Connor can explain the situation to his lovely new girlfriend however he wants to explain it, just so long as he keeps my parents out of it. I’d want him to burn in hell forever more if he so much as uttered a word.
“You alright?” Josh asks when we’re down the lane and back onto the main road, and I take a breath.
“I guess so. Kind of. Seeing him like that has only reinforced just how much of a wanker he is, so that’s a win.”
“You did crazily well back there. I’m surprised you managed it, really. If Amy showed up at your parents’ dinner table the first time I ever met them, arm in arm with your brother, I don’t think I’d manage to keep my cool.”
“Good job I’m an only child, isn’t it? No unexpected surprises.”
“Thank fuck for that.” He takes a deep breath of his own. “I’m sorry, Ells, I really am. I should have put two and two together, or checked in more, or at least had some kind of clue what we were walking into.”
“Good job you didn’t, or we’d never have walked into it.”
“That’s a very good point.”
I squeeze his thigh as he drives. “Thanks for coming to the bathroom and rescuing me from the sack of shit. He’d have argued with me all afternoon.”
“Sorry I didn’t get there sooner, but Mum was quizzing me.”
My gut lurches again. “What did you say to her?”
“Nothing much. That you hadn’t been feeling well all morning, and you had some history with Connor around Camden.”
“What do you think Carly made of it? Do you think she knows about me and him?”
“I think he’s going to have some explaining to do, but that’s their bag, not ours.”
I look out of the window, grateful again to be out of there. “Yeah, it is.”
I despise the pang I get in the ribcage as the adrenaline begins to wear off.
“He must have really played me down to her, or she’d have known who I was from a mile off. All those years together, and he wrote them off as nothing, just to get a piece of her. I just… it’s hard to believe.”
“Hard to believe what a piece of shit he is?” Josh looks at me. “Yeah, I’m with you, and I was in the same boat myself with Amy. It took me a long time to realise just how much of a cheating bitch she was when things were over. Stuff came out of the woodwork from other entertainers. People that knew her. Apparently, it was my fault, not just hers.”
“Yeah?”
His jaw tightens. “Yeah. She painted me in a bullshit light to stay friends with people after she ditched me. She told them we’d been on the rocks for ages. It sure was news to me if we were. I hadn’t got a clue.”
There’s such solidarity between us in our fucked-up situations. Hell knows what Connor was saying to Carly about me when he was getting involved with her, or more specifically, the lack of mentioning me. And who knows how long he was doing it for? Was he organising date nights with her every chance he got, safe in the knowledge that I’d be stacking shelves through a lot of his gigs?
I try not to dwell on it, but it’s hard. I feel the lump in my throat once Beaconsfield is behind us – my wall of steel melting away, but I don’t want to give the prick even one more drop of my pain.