Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 99434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Gray: You read my texts an hour ago. What’s going on in that head of yours, Freckles?
I smiled.
Layla: Sorry. Deposition was all day, and then I had to return some business calls before it got too late. I’m glad everything worked out with Ella.
I watched my text turn to delivered, then read. The dots started to jump around as he responded, then stopped. A moment later, my cell rang in my hand.
Gray responded to my hello in a sexy, throaty tone. “I needed to hear your voice.”
“It sounds like you just woke up.”
“Nope. Just came back from a run.”
I’d forgotten that his run had been interrupted this morning. “Oh.”
“So were you really busy or just avoiding me?”
I answered on reflex. “I was busy.”
“Layla…”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I was avoiding you. But I am busy, too.”
I heard the gloat and smile in his voice. “Haven’t you figured out by now that you can’t avoid me? If you hadn’t responded soon, I’d be at your office checking on you. I’m not giving up on us that easily, sweetheart. I understand it’s a lot at once, and I’ll give you time to take it in if you need it. But I want to know you’re not pushing me away, and it’s just time you need.”
In the midst of his life being turned upside down, he was the levelheaded one. It felt like I should be there for him to lean on me. But I was scared. Each time I made the decision to move forward—take a chance to be all in—something else pushed back. The least I could do was be honest.
“I watched the three of you walking to the park this morning. It just hit me…you have a family now.”
“Max isn’t my family.”
“I know. I just meant…the three of you looked like a family. And I realized that being with you, meant…”
“I don’t expect you to replace Max in Ella’s life, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
I sort of was. I sighed. “It’s just hard. I’m...I’m…scared, Gray.”
“Me too, babe. Me too. But I’m more scared of losing you again than of all the other shit coming my way. We’ll figure it out.”
God, he was so sweet. “Okay.”
“Dinner tonight?”
I just wasn’t up for it. The last few days had taken a mental toll. My first instinct was to lie and say I had plans. But I went with honesty because he deserved at least that much. “I need a night at home, by myself, Gray.”
He took a minute before answering. “I understand.”
I hated the hurt in his voice. “Are you seeing Ella again soon?”
“The day after tomorrow. Tomorrow I have to fly up to Chicago for the day to meet with my partners and the CEO of a company we’re investing in. I won’t be back until late. But Max and I had a civil conversation while Ella was playing at the park. I’m going to spend as much time as I can with the two of them, so she can get to know me. Once Ella’s more comfortable, Max will drop out of the picture for my visits. I want you to get to know her, too, if you can handle that.”
“Let’s take things one step at a time. Focus on you and Ella. You don’t need to worry about me right now.”
“I can do that better if you tell me you’re not kicking my ass to the curb.”
I smiled. “I’m still with you.”
“I might make you repeat that every day, Freckles. Like a mantra.”
Chapter 29
* * *
Gray
Google had become my best friend.
How to sign “how are you?”
What do three-year-olds eat?
Toys to buy a three-year-old child.
Girl toys to buy a three-year-old.
Things to talk about with a three-year-old girl.
Stage four breast cancer.
What the hell is Yo Gabba Gabba?
Today I was going to Max’s apartment to spend time with her and Ella at home. When she’d suggested I come to her place, I automatically wanted to say no way. No fucking way I want to be stuck inside the same four walls as you—even if the place is the size of a palace. But after I gave it some thought, I realized I needed to be more flexible and do what was best for Ella. I needed to do whatever would help her open up to me, and that would probably happen best on her own home turf, rather than in a stranger’s apartment. So I didn’t fight it. My feelings for Max, my instinct to fight everything she wanted, had to take a backseat to my little girl.
My little girl.
It was truly surreal.
Max had said that Ella’s favorite thing to do was take long walks. She loved to look around the busy city from inside her stroller. So when I stopped off at the toy store up on 82nd Street—the one I passed by all the time, but never went inside—I knew what to get her the moment my eyes landed on it.