Total pages in book: 32
Estimated words: 29962 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 150(@200wpm)___ 120(@250wpm)___ 100(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 29962 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 150(@200wpm)___ 120(@250wpm)___ 100(@300wpm)
My heart lifts a little at his words. “Does this mean you’re ready to join the family again?”
The silence stretches between us, growing longer with every passing moment. I think again about the documentary I watched a couple of months ago on war veterans. One veteran explained that while his body left the combat zone, his mind didn’t. For years, he struggled to acclimate back to his life before.
I swallow hard, hating the pain he must be in. “It’s safe to come home now.”
Another silence lapses and this time, I don’t fill it. I’m not sure there’s anything I can say to help him.
His gruff voice is a quiet rumble in the empty hallway as fluorescent lights flicker and buzz overhead, “She’ll always have a guardian watching over her from the shadows.”
I put my hand on his arm as he turns to go and look at him, really look at him. His deep blue gaze is haunted as if he’s seen every horror this world has to offer, and it has wearied him.
He jerks his head toward the nursery in an approving nod. “You did good.”
Then he’s shrugging away my touch and stomping down the long corridor that smells of antiseptic, cafeteria food, and desperate hope. His heavy boots echo, clanging through my heart. Sometimes, the hardest thing in the world is letting yourself be loved.
I turn back to staring at my girl who is moving her face in her sleep. Is that normal? Is that OK? Should I get a nurse? Does she need medical attention?
Zac joins me but unlike Whiskey, he doesn’t hesitate to make his presence known. He and Dotty stayed throughout the labor and delivery. They have to be exhausted, but they’ve been here every step of the way, cheering us on and celebrating our little miracle with us.
He watches her facial movements and says, “She’s fine. They do that.”
I feel my shoulders relax and realize he must have seen the tension in my body from across the hall.
He chuckles. “Your search history after you have a kid is never the same again. You want to know all sorts of things you never would have thought you’d ask.”
I blow out my breath. “Does it get better?”
“You don’t get less scared. You just get better at believing everything is going to be OK,” he admits. “Nothing develops confidence in your abilities like being terrified and doing it anyway.”
I nod, letting that sink in. I’ve wanted a family for so long, and now I have one. I have a precious, healthy baby girl and a beautiful wife whose body went through hell to give me that baby. I’m the luckiest man in the world. “I can barely look away.”
“It was the same way when Missy was born. It still is. Fuck, I hate those moments when I have to go away for radio interviews. Feels like those are the longest days of my life.”
She’s so tiny. She’s helpless and defenseless. She’s all pink skin and innocent trust, believing that those around her will always protect her. Clearing my throat, I say, “I didn’t know it was possible to carry this much love.”
“Welcome to the parenting club.” He claps me on the back. “You got this, Dad.”
Hours later, I’m in the hospital bed with Thea and our baby. She’s topless, and our daughter is only wearing a diaper. I’m watching my wife nurse, and I’m even more in awe of her body. Not only did she make another human being, but now she’s nourishing that small human.
I rub Emma’s fuzzy head. I still can’t get over how soft and cuddly she is. I’m not sure if all babies are like this or just ours. It’s probably ours. We got the world’s best baby. “I can’t believe you gave her to me.” There’s a hitch in my voice.
She leans back against me, her head brushing my thick beard. Her back is warm against the bare skin of my chest. The hospital said skin-to-skin contact was good for family bonding. She sighs softly, a sound filled with contentment. “She’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat. “You did this. You brought our baby into the world.”
She went through hell to give me the second sweetest gift of my life. I don’t know how I’ll ever thank her enough for that, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying. I’ll spoil her every day with her favorite foods, endless gifts, and all the orgasms her body wants.
She yawns softly, her eyes drifting closed. “We’re going to do this again, aren’t we?”
“We’ll do anything you want.” I rub her arm. She could ask me for the moon at this moment, and I wouldn’t hesitate to give it to her. She’s my whole world. She and our beautiful daughter.