Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 132512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Terje was now out with the others, closing stalls and chasing guests out for the night, but once the gates closed behind the last visitor, he’d be free to pursue Ned, no matter how much Cole’s heart revolted against it. It had no vote in this. Cole had proved with his actions that his love for Ned hadn’t ended seven years ago, but if he stayed, his life would be forever filled with suspicion and unease. It was better to cut the cord while he still had the strength to do so
“There’s always a little celebration once the show closes before heading off somewhere else. How about you help Jan out with that, and I’ll walk Tommy to Judith’s? I have a thing or two to tell her anyway,” Cole proposed, looking into Ned’s green eyes, which in the low light reminded him of the deepest lakes, the kind that might as well reach all the way to the underworld.
Ned bit his lip, shy all of a sudden. “I’d rather wait for you. Let’s go together. You know all these people while I’m a stranger.”
Cole stalled, and his heart picked up its pace, drumming loudly.
He did want to go with Ned. He wanted to entwine their fingers and walk him to the others in a display of commitment that he couldn’t afford to give.
Stepping away felt like ripping open a stitched wound, but if he was to let go of Ned, he ought to stop distracting the man with his presence.
“Don’t worry. You’re better with people than you think,” he lied. Five years in the mountains hadn’t improved Ned’s social skills, but he was getting better.
Ned groaned and glanced at the boy. “Goodnight, Tommy. Leave some candy for tomorrow. And Cole? Don’t be long.”
Their eyes met again, and Cole smiled, sensing a heat at the base of his back. He wanted to have Ned this final time, before their unnamed bond was severed. But this wasn’t the place for it, so he nodded and spun around, carrying Tommy away through the thinning crowd.
His back felt hot from Ned’s penetrating gaze, but once he dove into the shadow, heading for the quiet corner close to the chuck wagon, the sense of being watched finally dispersed, leaving him agitated over having lost sight of Ned.
What if Terje wasn’t to Ned’s taste, and the whole plan turned into a disaster? Ned could be doing anything right now, including spanking Gavin for a few dollars, because what would have stopped him? Gavin was a sneaky bastard, and since he’d already complimented Ned’s hands, he might try his luck with him while Cole wasn’t around. There was no reason for Ned to say no. It was a harmless thing to do, and even Cole had tried it back in the day. But the idea of Ned standing behind Gavin to deliver the blows gave him a green rash of pure jealousy. Which only proved that he’d let himself go by staying in the cabin for too long and needed to go his own way as soon as possible.
Tommy tapped him on the arm, and Cole realized he’d drifted off into a world of his own. He took the boy off his shoulders, desperate to distract himself from thoughts he shouldn’t have.
He climbed into the wagon behind Tommy, nodding at Judith, who was braiding her wispy beard in front of a mirror. The interior was lit by a single lamp, but its glow revealed that the wood making up the walls and furniture had been polished, and the colorful fabric hanging open in the back to divide Judith’s space from that of her children, looked new. Photographs and postcards from all over the country hung on one of the walls, serving as sparse decoration that didn’t fill the narrow interior with clutter. It wasn’t much, but a home was a home, no matter its size. Cole hadn’t had one for a long time.
“There you are!” she said with a smile and rose, pointing at a cot close to the entryway. “The twins will sleep in the bed closest to mine, so he can take the other one. Settle in while I make sure they wash before coming to bed.”
Dog struggled with the narrow steps, so Cole ended up carrying him into the wagon, and the beast soon curled up under Judith’s dressing table. Cole still didn’t particularly enjoy the smell of Dog’s fur, or how needy he was, but Tommy loved the attention, and as Cole unwound the laces of his tiny shoes, it occurred to him that the boy would not only have to part from him and Ned but also the pet he’d just given a new name.
It shouldn’t have bothered him, since for most folk life was about loss and learning how to handle it, but Tommy was an orphan, had a deformity, and didn’t speak. Couldn’t life give a break to small boys who’d done nothing to earn their unfortunate fate?