The Lazy Witch’s Guide to Vampires & Villainy Read Online Jessica Gadziala

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Billionaire, Fantasy/Sci-fi, Novella, Paranormal, Vampires Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 51
Estimated words: 49441 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 247(@200wpm)___ 198(@250wpm)___ 165(@300wpm)
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“Two million dollars.”

Like some cheesy mafia movie, he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

As if I had a choice to begin with.

CHAPTER FOUR

Nathaniel

When you had three hundred years to learn about investing, your coffers filled, then overfilled, rather quickly.

The money was inconsequential.

But it was exactly what would motivate the witch to do what I was asking of her. She might even see it as a choice. It wasn’t. But if it secured her willingness, it would be worth it.

“Excuse me?” she asked, dropping back down into one of the library chairs.

“Two million dollars. Cash. At the completion of the job. It should be a sufficient sum to continue your quest to clog your arteries with sloth and gluttony.”

To that, she let out a snort. “Sloth and gluttony,” she repeated. “You know, if you watched some of the ‘television programs’ you are so quick to scoff at, you might be able to speak like a modern person instead of an old-timey one.”

“When it comes to the many things superior in my time than yours, language is close to the top.”

“Many superior things, hm? All that sexism, slavery, war, famine, and rampant disease was a jolly good time, huh?”

“I’m aware your tastes run toward the… frivolous. But if you would watch one of your news programs, you would know that all those things exist in this time as well.”

“Fair,” she agreed, either seeing my point or feeling no need to exert herself to prove a point. I was inclined to believe the latter. “Anyway. Two million dollars. What are the strings?”

“No strings,” I said, lying through my teeth. “So long as you complete the job, the money is yours.”

“How long will it take?”

“I assume that depends on how motivated you are to finish. We can start as soon as tonight. I imagine we could be done in a week.”

She blanched at that timeframe, likely imagining all of the episodes of her shows she might miss. But she would have nothing but time to catch up when all of this was over.

And my problem would be solved. Forever.

“Where is the job?” she asked.

“This is the headquarters. You will be staying with me in between tasks so I can keep an eye on you. The key is located in the city. The labyrinth is not.”

“Where is the key located in the city?”

“In a church,” I admitted.

“Of course it is,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s why you need me? Couldn’t a human just do it for you?”

“A human couldn’t get past the wards. You can.”

“So, you want me to break into a church, then break through wards set up by witches to get you a key? No worries about my immortal soul or anything, right?”

“Churches are open to the public,” I reasoned.

“But not to witches,” she shot back.

“It’s a gray area,” I said, shrugging.

“Why is there a warded key in a church anyway?”

“Because no one would think to look for it there,” I told her.

It had taken me the better part of seventy-five years to locate it myself. Poring over every ancient text, questioning every distant descendent to the witches who had been tasked with the protection of the key.

And I finally had it within reach.

I just needed someone with hands that wouldn’t burst into flames to procure it for me.

“How is the key warded?” she asked.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Where is the key located in the church?”

“Alas, another detail I don’t have to give you.”

“So, I’m just supposed to walk into a church, where I am not welcome, and poke around for a few hours to find it, then spend another few hours trying to get past the wards to steal the key… all without getting caught?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t see any flaws in this plan?”

“The execution of the mission is not my concern. I will drive you to the church. I will wait outside until you get the key. And then we will make our way to the labyrinth while you sleep and recharge.”

“There’s a flaw in your plan,” she said, watching me with those big green eyes.

“I sincerely doubt that.”

“I am not that powerful of a witch.”

“I believe it would be more accurate to say you are not motivated enough to learn the extent of your power. Believe me, I have done my research. You have the power. You must simply learn to utilize it.”

“And you expect me to learn to do that in the next, what, hour or so?”

“Trial by fire, if you will. I fear you will need to change into something less… conspicuous,” I said, gaze moving down over her light tank top and fuzzy yellow pajama bottoms featuring cats and dogs in the shapes of loaves of bread.

“You will also need to feed me,” she said. “Unless you want the priest and nuns to hear my stomach growling and thwart my attempt to steal your key.”



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