Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 60933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
“She invited you, and you came. It’s good to see you again. Thanks for coming,” I said, then started to walk away.
“West, please. I need to say something. I need to explain.”
“No, you don’t. Not here and not today. The time for that has passed.”
“Honey, please,” she pleaded, and her voice broke. The lone tear rolling down her cheek made me think of Dad. He never wanted Mom to cry. He loved her laugh. I was making her cry, and although she didn’t deserve this, I couldn’t do it.
“Okay, fine. I’m listening. Just stop crying.”
She sniffled and wiped away her tear and the next one about to fall. “I am sorry. That’s something I haven’t said and I should. I am truly sorry. I lost myself when we lost your dad. I should have been there for you. I should have been a mother, but I was struggling to make it. You left for college, and the little bit of progress I had made at being a mom again was lost. I was lonely and sad. I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again. I searched for it. Seeing you reminded me of all we had and lost. I felt guilty when I looked at you, and I knew how disappointed your father would be with me.
“I ran from that life. Our life. Lawton. All of it. And I hurt you. I’m so sorry… and I know you aren’t okay with me being married. It’s why I waited to tell you. I was afraid of how you would take it. But I’m happy again. I don’t feel lost anymore. And I know I can’t erase the past, but I want to change how things are now. I want to be a mom to you… and a grandmother.” The sadness, hope, and fear in her eyes made it difficult to lash out. I didn’t understand my mother. I doubted I ever would, but she was my mom. I had never stopped loving her or needing her in my life. I had just learned to live without her.
“You’re right. I don’t understand. I never will, but I forgive you. It was never me keeping you out of my life. That has been your decision. If you want to be a mother and a grandmother, then do it. Show me. The ball is in your court here,” I told her.
She gave me a teary smile. “Really?”
“It always has been, Mom,” I replied.
She stepped closer to me, and I knew what she wanted. I opened my arms and she walked into them as I held her. She sniffled against my chest, and I looked out over the town.
It’s going to be okay, Dad, I mouthed, because I had no doubt he was there watching.
GUNNER
Wearing a tux sucked. I hated dressing up, but this year would be full of this. Weddings out the ass. I grinned, thinking about the fact one of those would be mine. Standing at the edge of the setup, I saw West talking to his mother. There was so much damage in that shit. It looked like they were having a long-past-due talk. His dad’s death had messed that family up. He’d always had the life I wanted growing up, until it all fell apart.
Not that my shitty family had been better. There would be no making up with my mom on my wedding day. She wasn’t interested in that, and there had been no death to tear us apart. My mother hadn’t been one to want children. My father wasn’t my real father and had hated me since the day I was born. There was no love lost there. I didn’t even know where he was living now, nor did I care.
My friends had always been my family. Soon I would be building a family of my own here in this town. I’d make the Lawton name something to be proud of, and the house that had held so many lies, hate, and darkness would be filled with the sounds of Willa’s laughter and our kids growing up happy and loved. They’d have all I didn’t have. The mother neither Willa nor I had been given.
“You gonna just stand here and look at it all?” Brady asked me as he walked toward me.
I shrugged. “Depends, you got a drink?”
He smirked, then pulled out a flask from inside his jacket. “I figured we might all need a swig. This being our first rodeo with this.”
I took the flask and took a swig, then handed it back. “We’ll be pros by the end of the year,” I told him.
“Damn right. How much longer you think it’ll be before the other three get hitched?” he asked.
I inhaled deeply and scanned the crowd for the others. “I figure Ryker is next. He’s gonna do some elaborate shit that makes the damn news.”