Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 60933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
I shrugged. “Possibly.”
“That’s my obnoxious, rich, yet loveable Gunner. I’m getting us a beer,” he said just as the front door opened and Tallulah walked in with a tray of goodies that I knew were straight from her momma’s kitchen.
“Beer at noon? Really?” she asked, looking at Nash.
He paused and then smiled at her. “Maybe not this early,” he replied.
She smirked and put the tray on the table. “Milk goes better with these caramel fudge cookies than beer anyway,” she told him then looked over at me. “Is Willa here? I need to find shoes for the field dedication. I was hoping she could help me shop.”
I started to shake my head when there was a knock this time on the door before it opened up. Willa stepped inside, and she didn’t have to speak for me to know something was wrong. Her gaze swung to mine, and the look in her eyes had me standing up and forgetting about the cookies.
“Hey,” I said, walking toward her. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head and forced a smile. “It’s fine,” she replied, placing her hand on my arm.
“No, it’s not. You can’t lie to me,” I told her.
She sighed, and her shoulders slumped. “Not right now, okay?” she said, then looked at the other two over my shoulder. “Oh! I have pies and brownies in the car. I forgot them. Nonna sent them.”
“I’ll get them, but walk with me,” I said, placing my hand on her back and turning around toward the door.
She didn’t argue, thankfully. I wasn’t waiting to find out why she looked so damn upset. I was hoping to give her good news later today. This was not how I wanted her to be when that happened.
“Talk, baby,” I said the moment the door closed behind us.
She took a few more steps, then turned to look up at me. “My mother has cancer. She’s dying. Six months if she’s lucky,” she said without taking a breath. “And I… I don’t know if I care and if that makes me a bad person or if it’s okay to feel nothing.”
I pulled her into my arms and held her against my chest. Her mother was a fucking piece of shit. I hated the woman more than I hated my own mother, and that was saying a lot. But it was clear Willa was feeling something. Her eyes never lied.
“Is it that you feel something and you don’t want to maybe?”
She shook her head against my chest. “No. I’m upset for Nonna. I’m worried about Chance, who is going to be twenty-one raising a six-year-old little girl. Rick ran off a few years ago, apparently. Yet Chance has told me nothing. He has kept so much a secret from me and I have let him. I’m his sister and I should have known. And I am worried about my soul because I feel nothing for her. I don’t feel any emotion for my mother at all. Just for those this will affect.”
Damn. I sighed and pressed my lips to the top of her head. Her visit with Ms. Ames hadn’t been a lighthearted one. I regretted not going now. She had needed me for all this. I wish I’d been told before so I could have been there.
“I’m sorry,” I said to her as she leaned heavier against my chest and clung to me.
“You don’t think I’m broken, do you? Because I can’t love her or feel something?”
“Fuck no. She killed anything you could have felt for her years ago. She was never your mother, Willa. Nonna is your mother. She’s what a mother is, not that woman. She just gave birth to you.”
Willa nodded, her head against my chest. “That’s what I keep telling myself. But my heart is heavy. For Chance especially. He never told me about his dad leaving and that Mother didn’t take care of Bella. I didn’t know all that. I knew he adored Bella, but Chance loves big. It’s his thing. I missed a lot from our visits and phone calls. I ignored it. He had no one, and I didn’t know. I should have known. I should have checked. I should have put my feelings for my mother aside and gotten to know my sister. If I had, then I would have known the other stuff.”
I barely knew her brother. She saw him maybe twice a year, and I’d only been with them three times. They normally met up and spent time just the two of them. I thought it was what she wanted and they needed. As for the little sister, not even Willa knew her. She did send presents to Bella for her birthday and Christmas, but that was all. I had wondered if one day she would regret the time she lost with her and now I felt as if I should have said something. Seeing her like this was breaking my heart.