Total pages in book: 56
Estimated words: 52553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
“Please go wait until Catalina is ready and then escort her here.” I make my tone as gentle as I can, but she still jumps as if I poked her with a sharp stick.
I bite back a sigh and sink into a wide seat at the head of the table. Ever since I reached my age of majority and stepped into a leadership role within the territory, I’ve been achingly aware of the power imbalance between myself and my people. A power imbalance that my poor social skills only seem to exacerbate. I don’t have Embry’s easy charm. Ze is beloved by our people. Though they aren’t exactly counting down the days until I step down, there’s sure to be a celebration when I finally do.
If Azazel hadn’t issued his invitation that was impossible to refuse, it would have been this year. But Embry insisted I be the one to go. Ze is still worried about me.
Embry is ready. Truth be told, ze has been ready for years. I suspect ze encouraged me to keep my position solely because ze was afraid of what I might do if I didn’t have something to keep me going after Brant’s death. I wish I could say ze had nothing to worry about, but my grief in that first year made me into a person I didn’t recognize. I was never the most emotional person, but it was like losing him took away what little I had. I went completely numb.
It still hasn’t worn off. Not entirely.
Footsteps bring me back to myself. I look up as Catalina walks into the dining room. She’s somewhat tamed her hair, and she’s wearing a gown similar to the one she had on last night. This time it’s a pale gray, the clasps at the shoulders a pretty silver that seem to beg to be touched. To be undone.
She eyes the chair next to me and then perches awkwardly on the edge of it. Like all the chairs in this room, it’s made for someone with tentacles, which means it’s far too wide and sloped for a human.
“I didn’t bring you here to punish you.”
She looks up, startled. “What?”
“To the tower.” I motion around us. I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I don’t know why I’ve done anything in this woman’s presence that I have. She simply seems a bit lost, and I want to chase that look from her hazel eyes. “Henryk threatened you. I wasn’t thinking. I was reacting.”
“He was just angry. It really wasn’t that deep.”
There it is again. Her insistence that her health and well-being are somehow not worthy of note. “He had a knife.”
“He didn’t cut me.” She shrugs. “I didn’t need your interference. I would have handled it.”
Just like that, I understand something that had been bothering me for weeks. “That’s why the contract wasn’t triggered the first day.” By all rights, it should have been. We needed Embry’s healing magic to save Catalina or she would have died. There is no other way to define that except as harm, but Azazel only knew about it because I contacted him.
“What are you talking about?”
“You expect to be hurt, so it barely registers when it happens.”
Catalina flinches. “Wow, make me sound pathetic, why don’t you?”
“That’s not what I mean.” I scrub my hand over my face. I don’t want to lose my territory, but I am increasingly uncomfortable with how lackadaisical Catalina is about her safety, physical and otherwise. “Tell me what you need. I can’t promise that I won’t misstep, but I will do my best to ensure you’re provided for.”
“Pass.”
“Excuse me?”
She looks around the room, obviously not wanting to meet my gaze. “I might be willing to take a pity fuck from you, but I’m doing just fine, Thane. I don’t need a pity . . . whatever it is you’re offering.”
She’s doing it again. I have to fight not to clench my fists. “I do not pity fuck.”
Catalina opens her mouth, seems to reconsider what she’s about to say, and twists a strand of her hair around one finger. “Okay.”
“You’re saying that like you don’t believe me.”
“Thane, you fuck me with your tentacles like you’re mad at me and yourself.” She holds up a hand before I can process that. “I am not complaining. That’s not what this is. I just don’t get the one-eighty you’re pulling right now.”
I don’t truly understand it either, but I’m not willing to take that conversational turn with her. Being here is challenging enough, but not because I don’t find myself enjoying her company. It’s the guilt. There’s both too much of it and not enough, and I can’t begin to untangle the mess in my head. “I am trying to make things right.”
“You know how you can make things right?”
I know I’m going to regret asking, but I find myself looking forward to whatever wild thing will come out of her mouth next. “I’m sure you have some suggestions.”