Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 145402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 727(@200wpm)___ 582(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 727(@200wpm)___ 582(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
Andrew ignored him, but Neil didn't mind. He was content for now to look, arms folded over the back of his seat and chin propped on a forearm. He didn't know what he was looking for. Andrew looked as he always had, and Neil knew his face as well as he knew every iteration of his own. Despite that, something seemed different. Maybe it was the sunlight streaming through the window, making Andrew's pale hair shine brighter and his hazel eyes seem almost gold. Whatever it was, it was disorienting. A wordless question buzzed under Neil's skin, leaving him restless and out-of-sorts.
"Hey," Neil said, because maybe if Andrew looked at him he'd figure it out.
It took a moment, but Andrew finally slid a calm gaze his way. Andrew only tolerated the staring another minute before saying, "Stop."
"I'm not doing anything."
"I told you not to look at me like that."
Neil didn't understand, so he let it slide. "Is it exhausting seeing everything as a fight?"
"Not as exhausting as running from everything must be."
"Maybe," Neil allowed. "I told you I'm working on that."
"Work harder."
"I can't unless you let me go," Neil said, quiet but firm. "Stand with me, but don't fight for me. Let me learn to fight for myself."
"You never explained that change of heart."
"Maybe I got tired of seeing Kevin bend. Or maybe it was the zombies." When Andrew just stared at him, Neil shrugged and said, "A few weeks back you and Renee argued contingency plans for a zombie apocalypse. She said she'd focus on survivors. You said you'd go back for some of us. Five of us," Neil said, splaying his fingers at Andrew. "You weren't counting Abby or Coach. Since you trust Renee to handle the rest of the team, I'm guessing the last spot is for Dobson."
He knew Andrew wouldn't answer that, so he dropped his hand and said, "I didn't say anything then because I knew I'd look out for only me when the world went to hell. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to go back for you."
"You wouldn't," Andrew said. "You're a different kind of suicidal. Didn't you figure that out in December? You're bait. You're the martyr no one asked for or wanted."
Neil knew he wasn't that good of a person, but all he said was, "Only one way to be sure, right?"
"You'll regret it."
"Maybe, maybe not."
Andrew looked away. "Don't come crying to me when someone breaks your face."
"Thank you."
Neil tipped his head to one side to rest his cheek on his arm and looked out the window. They were crossing Virginia, barely over halfway to their goal. East coast interstates offered boring views clogged with endless cars and uneven asphalt. Neil thought of the coastal roads he'd taken through California, the ocean on one side, the world on the other, and towns too small for stoplights. Neil lifted his hand and checked his fingernails for blood. There wasn't any, of course, but for a moment he thought he smelled it.
"I've been through here," Neil said, because something, anything, needed to fill the silence before his thoughts ran away from him. Andrew looked at him again, which Neil took as wordless permission to continue. He told Andrew about the cities he'd been through, their back alleys and tourist stops and sketchy city buses. Most of his memories were stained with tension and fear, but he didn't have to water that down with Andrew. Neil just had to cut out every mention of his mother.
It was strange sharing this history with someone else. Neil grew up looking over his shoulder, but he'd always been looking for his father. There was rarely a reason to think back on his day-to-day life. It passed the time, though, and Andrew let him ramble. He never once took his eyes off Neil's face or looked like he was mentally tuning out of the conversation.
Eventually Neil got Andrew to open up a bit about his transition to Columbia. The first thing Andrew did after their mother was out of the way was take care of Aaron's addictions. He stocked the upstairs bathroom with canned food and barricaded Aaron in there until he finished withdrawal. Luckily they had a house, not an apartment, so there were no neighbors close enough to hear Aaron's best attempts at breaking out.
When Nicky moved in to keep an eye on them he started as a host at Sweetie's. He found out about Eden's Twilight from the customers he chatted up and, after going out of his way to befriend the bouncers and Roland, snagged a gig there as a bar-back. Eventually Nicky got Aaron and Andrew part-time jobs in the kitchen washing dishes and doing basic food prep. The more comfortable the staff got with the odd twins, the easier it was to talk drinks out of them. It wasn't until they went off to college that they had to get those drinks at the bar counter like the rest of the club's clientele.
The bus decelerating got Neil's attention, and he looked out the window as Abby took an exit ramp to a busy street. A travel center was two stoplights down, one half packed with diesel pumps and big rigs, the other half crowded with regular traffic. Abby found them a parking spot on the trucks' side and killed the engine. Neil was confused to be stopping again so soon, but a glance at his watch showed he'd lost almost three hours talking with Andrew. They were now only two and a half hours out from Binghamton.
"Last stop before campus," Wymack announced, and the front half of the bus cleared off.
Wymack stood at his seat until everyone but Neil and Andrew was gone. He looked at them like he wanted to say something, then held up his hand in a forget-it gesture and exited the bus. Neil watched out the window as his teammates disappeared inside. He was still full from lunch, but old habits said to take advantage of any pit stop.