Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 76840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
He raised a brow.
“Jaak told me.”
“Ah.” His lips twitched. “I plead guilty.”
And so he should, I thought, since Jaak wasn’t the type to lie about things. It had been no secret that Marcus and my brother had stayed in contact with each other over the years, but what he obviously didn’t realize was how Jaak had once let it slip that Marcus always managed to bring my name up in their conversations.
“Did you like keeping tabs on me,” I couldn’t help asking, “—-because you felt guilty?”
When he didn’t answer right away, I added quickly, “I’m just joking.”
“Lo so.” I know.
But Marcus kept gazing at me with dark, unreadable eyes, and I asked finally, “What is it?”
“Jaak told me you had changed.” His tone was unexpectedly curt. “But I didn’t realize you had changed so much.”
Oh. “You make it sound like I’ve changed for the worse,” I said uncertainly.
He shook his head. “No. Not for you.” And then he murmured something in Italian, almost inaudibly, but if I had to take a guess—-
Solo per me.
Only for me, I translated silently, and now I wasn’t just bewildered, but I was more than a little hurt, too.
What had changed about me that was so bad? And even if there was such a change, what right did he have to feel that way, considering how he had terminated our so-called friendship?
I stood up, saying stiffly, “I should go—-”
He reached for my hand, saying just as stiffly, “I’m sorry.”
And because I could be just a little bitchy now if I wanted to, I demanded, “Why? What are you sorry for?”
“I am sorry,” Marcus said softly, “because I’m egoistic enough to have wanted you to pine for me.”
Oh.
“But looking at you now...” His lips twisted. “It’s wishful thinking, isn’t it?”
He tugged on my hand, and I allowed him to pull me back to my seat.
“Did you pine for me?”
“No.” Yes. I cleared my throat. “I wasn’t supposed to. Remember?”
Because we were friends, I thought.
Or at least I thought we were up until the point I realized he had gotten rid of me.
Marcus only shrugged at my answer. “I am used to women pining for me.’
His arrogant tone was familiar in a sweet, painful kind of way, and I could feel my lips curving. “Does it help,” I asked deadpanned, “if I told you I hated you for a long time?”
“I suppose,” he answered with a mocking sigh. “Since it kept me in your thoughts.”
I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. “You know, I didn’t think it could be possible, but you actually managed to be more arrogant than before.”
“I shall take that as a compliment.”
“I should have known you would.” I choked back a laugh.
Marcus’ handsome face suddenly softened. “I missed that sound, bambina.”
If you really missed it, I thought, then why did you stop being my friend?
But of course I couldn’t say that. Doing so it would be akin to opening a can of worms, and that was another dangerous thing the older and wiser version of me knew better than to do.
And so I changed the subject instead, asking carefully, “What about you?” I bit my lip. “How are you taking your nonna’s passing so far?”
A part of me expected Marcus to brush my words away, but instead he answered in a neutral voice, “She has been sick for a long time. In a way, I am thankful that her suffering has passed.”
I hesitated then reached for his hand to give it a comforting squeeze. “I’m really sorry, Marcus.”
Something flickered in his eyes, and I couldn’t understand what it was until he spoke in a tight voice—-
“Thank you.”
A memory drifted back into my mind, of that day we spent in Alfred’s, and he had allowed me a glimpse of his past.
I want to be friends with you because looking at you...is like having a personal reminder that the world isn’t bad.
That time, I had tried to push him into saying more, but he had shut himself down almost right after.
That time, he had a look on his face—-
And it was the same look I saw on his face now, only this time he was doing his best to let me in.
When he carefully pulled his hand away from my hold, I let him, knowing instinctively that this time it was his pain he was distancing himself from – and not me.
“I told her about you, you know.”
Oh.
“She wanted to meet you.”
“I would have wanted to meet her, too.”
He nodded jerkily. “I knew you would.” His fists clenched. “She was the only one who cared for me.”
I slowly shook my head. “That’s not true.”
He laughed humorlessly. “How do you know?”
“Because – you have your friends.”
His gaze just bored through me, reminding me without words that he wasn’t exactly the most reliable friend to have around.
“Well.” I couldn’t help but sound defensive. “You’re a good friend to my brothers, aren’t you? And they’re good friends to you, too. So yes, they’re some of the friends who care about you. Okay?”