Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 87856 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87856 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
"She's behind the times," I say.
"She hates that, too."
We move into line behind a group of girls in cover-ups. They take turns ordering drinks with various non-dairy milks.
They move away. We step forward. Julie orders an oat milk latte. I order the same.
After I pay (she doesn't fight me), she laughs. "That's such a guy-date move, ordering the same thing."
"How many guys have you dated?" I ask.
"Don't even. I looked at your Instagram. I saw all the different women who tagged you. The ones who weren't rocking their new ink in their pictures." She raises a brow. "There were a lot."
"How far back did you go?" I ask.
"Far enough. Past, uh… I guess before your sister died. Did that change things for you?"
"It did."
"Did you and Imogen talk about that?"
I nod. "It woke me up, made me realize how much of my life was bullshit."
"She's not like that," Julie says. "Sometimes, I think she's too much not like that. She can only have conversations where she's checked out or where she's intense and honest."
"You don't like it?"
"I do. But sometimes I want to talk about a hot celebrity without her lecturing me on safe sex. Or I want to talk about eyeliner or dresses. But I'm becoming more like her too… obviously."
I move to the side of the coffee shop.
Julie follows. "You know, 'cause I tried to show up here and have fun and instead I started asking why she's fake all the time now."
"All the time?"
"When it's about her. She's good at big sister mode. She was really cool about me casually dropping I have a girlfriend."
"First girlfriend?"
She nods.
"What's she like?"
"Smart. Pretty. Intimidating. Maybe I should ask you for tips there."
"I don't know if I have any."
"But Imogen is happy," she says. "At least, as happy as I've seen her."
"Your girlfriend isn't?"
"I don't know. I can't tell with her."
"Have you asked?"
"Ugh. Don't be such a grown-up."
"It's the best way to do things," I say.
She sticks out her tongue.
"What do you like about her?"
"She's confident. And she's sexy in this cool way. Too cool. I feel so inexperienced around her and it makes me lock up. I want to be with her but I'm worried I'll make a fool of myself."
"Tell her that."
"Really?" she asks.
"Trust me. It's flattering. And it's sexy."
"Being a clueless virgin?" she asks.
"Being honest and vulnerable."
"Ugh, you sound like Imogen," she says. "I wanted like… advice on eating pussy."
"You have a peach? I can show you."
"You cannot."
"I can," I say. "But your sister will kill me."
"I won't tell her."
"And I can only show you the basics. The woman you're with… she'll like what she likes. You have to explore. Find out."
Again, her nose scrunches.
"Trust me. It works."
"What if it doesn't? What if it's awkward?"
"Sex is awkward sometimes."
"Really? You think that… you?"
"I'm not that much of a slut."
She clears her throat.
"I'm not. A lot of those women… we dated, flirted, whatever. I didn't take them all home."
"Mm-hmm."
"One-night stands aren't good sex. Sex with someone new is always a little stiff."
"Stiff, really?"
I laugh. "Yeah. Stiff."
"What about when Imogen booty called you?"
"She made it comfortable, by being straight with me, but it was nothing compared to the second time. Or the third. It gets better, the more comfortable you get with someone."
"She does have a lot of game. I mean, she's cute, but kind of… quiet. I didn't expect that."
"Quiet is good. Thoughtful."
"Yeah, she is that."
The barista calls her name and drops off our drinks.
Julie pounces, sips, sighs. "This is good."
I take mine. "Should we walk?" When she nods, I lead her out of the coffee shop.
Julie surveys the sleepy street the way Imogen does, taking in everything around her carefully. "I was never nervous when I dated guys. I like guys too. I don't know why it's different."
"Did you really like them, the guys?"
"Kinda. But not the way I like her," she says.
"That's different."
"Yeah. I guess. I should talk to her, huh?"
I nod.
"You're too mature. It's annoying."
"Thanks."
"You're probably going to tell me something dumb with Imogen too. Like, wait for her to come around. The more you push, the more she'll run away. Trust is a two-way street."
"You said it well enough."
"I know." She glances at the bar where Imogen and I experimented. "But I miss her so much. The closeness we had before everything got so weird."
"How did it happen?" I ask.
"I don't know. I guess it started when she went to school. Maybe that's most of it. Maybe this is part of growing up. But it's more than that. She's different when she's home. She's not all the way there." Julie eyes the plates of stacked waffles and tofu scrambles. "That looks good."
"You want to stop?"
She shakes her head. "We used to share the secrets we kept from our parents. She stopped."
"That is part of growing up," I say.