Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
“Oh, Barry and I didn’t work out,” I confessed.
She cried.
What the heck, Mother?! Stop crying.
“Mom, stop it. Why are you crying?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know it’s been a hard year for you, and I was hoping….”
I sighed and handed her a tissue. “It’s okay. I’m fine, Mom.”
She dabbed at her eyes. “Are you, though, Holly? Are you happy?”
I didn’t say I was happy. I said I was fine.
I pushed out a smile. “Yeah, Mom. I’m fine.”
“It’s just…with the holidays coming up, and what happened last year around this time…I was hoping you’d be with someone, you know? To make sweet memories with.”
“I don’t need anyone, though. I’m good.”
“But last year—”
“Mom,” I cut in. I took a deep breath and released it through my lips. “Can we not talk about that? Yes, it happened. I processed it. I’m fine.” I tried not to think about last December. It brought about a wave of discomfort that I wasn’t ready to face. I knew that was why Mom wanted me to find someone to love for the holiday season—because last year, I’d lost the two most important people in my life.
“There is something I need to tell you, though. About Daniel and Cassie,” she started.
“No,” I urged. “Please don’t. Tell me anything and everything that isn’t about the two of them. Tell me something good.”
Mom hesitated for a moment before she agreed to shift the topic.
“Oh, have you spoken to your brother? He’s seeing someone! It’s been such a whirlwind romance,” Mom swooned, holding her hands to her chest. “Just like the ones you write in your books. They had the best….” She snapped her fingers. “What is it you call it? Cute meeting? Cute meet? Cutest meeting—”
“Meet cute,” I corrected, feeling a tinge of jealousy. Was Alec dating? I couldn’t wait for him to rub that in my face at some point. My brother and I had the typical sibling relationship. We bullied each other for fun.
“Yes! That’s it! It was the perfect meet cute! They were at the dog park, and their dogs got tangled up with their leashes, knocking Alec and MJ over to the ground.” She laughed as if she was there to witness the interaction.
“That’s not that cute,” I bitterly muttered.
“What was that, sweetheart?”
I pushed out a smile. “Nothing. I think that’s the cutest thing ever!” I remarked, working hard not to roll my eyes. Or not to cry. Why did I feel like crying?
“Plus, Alec told me his company is working to secure the big merger with that construction company,” Mom mentioned.
“Really?” I asked, truly impressed.
Even though he annoyed me, my brother was a genius. By nineteen, he created a security company with the best technology to hit the market. Alec was gifted, and I knew he worked hard to get where he was in his career. I also knew how big of a deal the merger of his company would’ve been with Trading Construction. He’d been talking about it for years.
I was proud of the jerk.
We continued to talk about anything and everything except for my dating life, Daniel, and Cassie. The three off-limits topics.
The coffee date turned into Mom planning the most outrageous activities for Christmas weekend. I knew she was trying to keep the holiday visit packed with busyness so my mind wouldn’t be too trapped in pain. Moms were pretty good at trying their best to protect their children from pain.
She hugged me and placed a hand against my cheeks on her way out. “I worry about you, Holly.”
“Don’t, Mom. I’m okay.”
“Yes, you are, but I want you to be more than okay. You went through quite the heartbreak last winter. This year doesn’t have to be the same. Things can always get better if we believe better exists.” She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you at Thanksgiving, okay?”
“I love you, Mom.”
“Love you, too, my Holly.”
I wanted to be more than okay, too, but I wasn’t sure how or when that could happen. Sure, I was fine in the grand scheme of things, but I’d be lying if I said my anxiety wasn’t rising the closer winter came. Going back to my small town to face everyone again was stressing me.
I was already counting down the days until the holidays were over, still feeling extremely emotional from my rough season last year. I couldn’t wait until January came around. The holidays were tainted with a sense of sadness I didn’t quite know how to deal with.
Maybe Mom was right, though. Maybe I did need to have someone to help me get through the next few months of loneliness. Someone to date me. Someone to distract me. Someone to hold me at night so I wouldn’t have to cry into my pillow. I already felt the heaviness of the season coming back to me. This was why I wouldn’t delete the dating apps any time soon. My loneliness craved someone’s attention.