Total pages in book: 185
Estimated words: 191421 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 957(@200wpm)___ 766(@250wpm)___ 638(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 191421 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 957(@200wpm)___ 766(@250wpm)___ 638(@300wpm)
“Yup. Would love a chance to kick your ass.”
He chuckles again. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.”
I chuckle too.
And then I think about how happy she’ll be. When I tell her.
That I’m doing what she always wanted me to do.
That I’m bonding with my brother.
But more than that, I’m believing.
I believe.
In what she told me. In her.
And the fact that I’m in love with her. I’ve been in love with her for years now And I’m finally, fucking finally, going to make my move.
I’m finally coming for her.
My sweet, pink-loving, sassy, drama queen Bubblegum.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
He lied.
For me.
In all of this, that’s the only thing that I can think about. That he lied to Lucas.
About the kiss.
Who started it. He told Lucas that it was him. And he did it to protect me. To keep me safe. To somehow make Lucas and I reach a reconciliation.
And I never would’ve known.
If Lucas hadn’t blurted it out last night.
I never would’ve known that he protected me even then.
But then am I really surprised?
He’s always protected me. He’s always watched out for me, even when I thought he was the worst thing in my life.
He wasn’t. He never was.
He was the best thing to ever happen to me. The most magical, transcendent thing.
My Bandit.
Which makes what I did last night even worse.
While he protected me since day one, I let my anger and pettiness get the best of me.
And that’s why he’s in jail, isn’t he?
Or rather, that’s why he had to spend the night in a holding cell.
Because in my vindictive fury, I told Lucas the truth. And that asshole took it out on his best friend. That asshole that I thought I loved. That I wanted to get back together with. Not to mention, he’s the asshole that I still felt guilty for.
Despite knowing that coming clean with Lucas at the funeral was the right decision, I still felt that my utter blindness and lack of self-awareness had hurt him in the worst way. Like, all of this pain could’ve been avoided if I’d only known who and what I wanted.
While that’s still true, fuck him.
Fuck him and his fucking pain.
Fuck him for taking it out on the guy who always, always supported him. Stood by him and loved him like his own brother.
He accused that guy of the worst crime that you could think of.
The absolute worst.
And I had a hand in that. Me.
If I hadn’t let the truth about the kiss slip out, Lucas would never have done what he did.
Plus I left the door unlocked, didn’t I?
“Hey.”
I blink my eyes at the voice — Jupiter’s — and focus. I guess I’ve been staring at the window of my bedroom for a while now and have started to worry my friends: Jupiter, Poe, Callie and Wyn.
They’re all here today; they came over first thing in the morning when I called Jupiter to tell her everything that had happened last night. The fact that they all abandoned everything going on in their life — Poe and Wyn are moving to New York soon with their boyfriends, Callie has a newborn daughter, Jupiter abandoned her little sister, Snow, after already regretting the fact that she’s been away from Snow for two years; Jupiter loves her sister to pieces — and came to my rescue is enough to make me break down and cry, and thank my lucky stars that I somehow met them.
“Hey,” I say.
She smiles sadly. “Anything?”
My fingers tighten around the phone in my lap. “No.”
“Well, maybe he’s just,” Callie shrugs, sitting in bed in front of me, propped up against the bedpost, “busy.”
“Exactly.” Poe nods, who’s sitting right next to me like Jupiter. “Maybe he just got out and he hasn’t had a chance to check his phone.”
No, we all know that he got out first thing in the morning and it’s evening now. But I understand her need to make me feel better.
I understand all their need to make me feel better.
Not that they can, but still.
“Or his phone died,” Wyn offers from beside Callie. “That’s a possibility. He spent the entire night in a holding cell. He couldn’t exactly charge his phone.”
They all murmur their assent and I give them a small smile. “Thanks, guys. Maybe you’re all right. Maybe he hasn’t…” I clear my throat. “And you know, you guys can leave. I’m going to be —”
“No,” Jupiter says with determination. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“We’re going to stay here with you,” Poe adds. “For as long as you need, okay? We know how it feels. A thousand thoughts must be racing through your head right now. All of them bad. You don’t want to be alone with them.”
They’re right.
I don’t.
But I also feel bad for putting them out like this.
“When Reed,” Callie begins with sadness flickering in her blue eyes, “wouldn’t admit that he loved me, I’d be so miserable, you know? Like, here.” She presses a hand to her chest. “I used to feel like a piece of my heart was bitten off or something. Everything would look so colorless and bleak. So yeah, I know. We all do. Which means we’re staying for as long as you need us.”