Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 66516 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66516 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
He adored her. “Doesn’t mean I want to hear you talk.”
“Answer my question and I’ll stop.”
“Oh, please. Do you think I’m new?” Jason said. “If I answer one question, you’ll just continue down your list to the next one. I’m pretty much fucked until the last whistle blows.”
“In that case, you may as well humor me.”
“How about we skip over whatever groundwork you’re laying here and get to the point of this interrogation?” Jason said.
“Are you seeing Kristen’s old math teacher?”
Immediately, Jason regretted having pushed Angela. He probably could have successfully given her the runaround for the rest of the game and gotten away relatively unscathed. Now he was stuck and on the verge of panic.
“Calm down, Jason. We’re not married anymore. You’re allowed to see people.” She pushed her sunglasses onto her head and looked him in the eyes. “You’re allowed to see men.”
He knew that. Of course he knew that. But casually talking about it was difficult because he had spent most of his life denying it and hiding it, and being ashamed of not being able to deny it and being bad at hiding it.
“I don’t know how to talk about this with you,” he admitted.
“Hey. We’re friends, right? Isn’t that what we always say?” Angela reached down for his hand. “Besides, I stopped being mad a long time ago.”
He put his palm in hers and squeezed it. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” she said. “We both made mistakes, but that’s in the past.”
“No.” He shook his head, unwilling to let Angela shoulder the blame for his shortcomings. “It was my fault. I’m the one who cheated. I’m the one who couldn’t…. It was my fault.”
“You shouldn’t have cheated,” she conceded. “But I made mistakes too, and I shouldn’t have married you when we barely knew each other.”
“We knew each other enough. Besides, you were pregnant.”
Angela turned her face to the game but didn’t seem to be watching the action on the field. “Being pregnant isn’t a reason to get married.”
“Of course it is!” Jason said. “It’s the best reason. Marriage is for family.”
Sighing, Angela looked at him again. “Having a family is a great part of it,” she said. “But it’s not the reason to commit your life to someone. It just isn’t. Kids grow up and move out, and then what?”
“I don’t know,” Jason said, frustrated.
“That’s because you think about food more than you think about the future.”
“That’s not true,” Jason said.
“No?” she said.
“No.” Jason smiled and tried to lighten the mood. “I think about sex more than I think about the future.”
Tossing her long brown hair over her shoulder, Angela laughed. “That is so true.”
After giving her hand one last squeeze, Jason let go and rested his forearms on his knees. “I’m glad we can be like this.”
“I am too, but I think it’s time both of us figure out what we want out of life.”
“What do you mean?”
“We got married when we were twenty-one, had Kristen when we were twenty-two, Donald when we were twenty-four, and squeezed in medical school and residencies along the way. I’ve barely had time to breathe, let alone think about myself.”
“I had time to figure out I’m gay.”
“I’m pretty sure you knew that going in.”
“I don’t know.” Jason shrugged. “Maybe I did. Doesn’t matter now.”
“No, it doesn’t. And it’s not what I meant, anyway. I’m talking about figuring out what we want out of life. For as long as I can remember, it was all about school and grades and being well-rounded so I could get into a good college and then medical school, and now I’m done with all that. I got in. I graduated. I have a good job. I met all my goals.” She sighed. “Now what?”
“I always wanted a family,” Jason said quietly. “That was my goal.”
“You have one,” Angela said.
“I know, but….” He shook his head. “Never mind.”
“It’s not the way you thought it’d be?”
He shrugged.
“It’ll never be like the picture you had in your head growing up, Jason. But you know what? You have two amazing kids and a fantastic ex-wife.”
Jason chuckled and nodded. “That I do.”
“And I think if you decide you want to, you can have someone to share it with.”
“Maybe,” he conceded. The conversation reminded him of the one he’d had with his cousin Asher a couple of months earlier. But this time around, it made more sense, either because it was Angela talking or because he’d had Abe as a steady presence in his life and he now knew firsthand there was more to being with a guy than sex. But there was a long distance between a steady presence and what his parents shared. He looked out at the field.
“So?” Angela asked.
Shaking his head, Jason smiled and said, “Yes, I made reservations for Valentine’s Day.”
“And?”
He sighed resignedly. “And I’m dating Kristen’s former math teacher. I have no idea how you figured that out.”