Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 74379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 372(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 372(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
“I…I’m…I wish I was there for you when that happened.”
I didn’t say anything for a long moment as I tried to collect my thoughts.
“Do you want to know my worst days?”
She froze.
“I want to know everything you’re willing to tell me,” she finally said.
“The day that we lost Dante’s family and then realized that it was Amy’s fault. The day that we buried Dante’s family. The day that Amy died. The day that we buried her.” I paused. “But, those were nothing compared to the day that I told you to leave.”
“That day, I knew I’d fucked up.” I laughed harshly. “Amy told me I was stupid. Did you know that?”
I felt a tear hit my arm, and I knew what I told her, and the memories they brought, caused her to cry.
“No,” she cleared her throat.
“She did,” I said. “She told me that I was a dumb person, and that one day I was going to regret telling you to leave.”
I laughed harshly. “What she didn’t know is that I regretted those words as I was saying them.”
“Reed,” she breathed.
“Used to pray for sleep, because that was the only place that my life didn’t suck. That was the only place where I got to see you.”
She sniffled and rubbed her nose along the skin of my arm.
“Reed,” she tried to interrupt.
“Couldn’t fucking wait to lay my head on the pillow at night,” I continued. “I used to think about you all day long, and it felt like a freakin’ anvil was sitting on my chest. In my dreams, though, you were there. You were happy. I was happy. We got to live our lives together and live our happily ever after.”
“Reed, we’ll have that.”
I started to say more, but she raised her hand and put it against my mouth. “No more talking.”
I smiled against her hand.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You bet yes, ma’am,” she countered.
I placed a gentle kiss on her palm and then urged her to roll onto her back.
“Go to sleep, Krisney.”
“Bossy,” she said.
“Determined,” I countered. “Worried. Scared. In love.”
“You have such pretty words.”
“They’re the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.”
She settled on her back, propped up partially with a pillow to keep her off the side with the incision, and then reached down for my hand.
“This time, your dreams are going to be nothing compared to your reality.”
I had no doubt that they would be.
“And Reed?”
“Yeah?” I asked, sleep starting to pull me under.
“I don’t hate you. I never have and never will.”
That was good, because I hated myself enough for the both of us.
Chapter 22
I often times try to convince myself that I actually like people. Then I go to the grocery store at five o’clock and realize that I’m fooling myself.
-Krisney’s secret thoughts
Krisney
We’d both forgotten our cell phones at home.
Last night, after all that had gone on with Dante, we completely forgot to plug them in to charge, so of course they both were dead.
After a restless first night at home where neither of us slept well, we plugged our phones in to charge while we got dressed. But we had been in such a rush to leave that we forgot to grab them
It wasn’t until we had arrived at the hospital that Reed had realized our mistake.
“I have to go back and get them,” he said. “Everyone will freak if they can’t get a hold of us.”
I agreed.
“Okay,” I said, getting out of the car. Slowly. “I’ll start making my way up. You might catch me before I even get up there.”
He grinned. “You’re not that slow, but I’ll try to be quick.” He looked at me sternly. “And when you get there, make sure you find a chair. Don’t stand up the entire time I’m gone.”
I saluted him, causing his eyes to light with humor. “Be good.”
“Don’t forget the charger. They’re probably not fully charged yet, but I’m sure they have somewhere we can plug them in here.”
He winked and was gone, leaving me at the entrance staring at his truck driving away.
When I arrived on the NICU floor, I wasn’t prepared for the flurry of activity in the room.
“What’s going on?” I asked another one of the parents.
The mom looked tired, run down and scared.
“One of the babies stopped breathing and another followed shortly after,” she said. “When that happens, all of the parents have to leave.”
“Whose babies?” I blurted.
I didn’t have to guess who, though.
I could see that all the activity was centered around the two incubators in the back right corner of the room.
The exact same corner where Reed and I had spent nearly five hours yesterday after I’d been released from the hospital.
Reed had turned around to go get our phones, and now I was left standing here, watching my worst nightmare playing out in front of me.