Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
“At this time,” Detective Berkley says, “given the condition of the body when it was discovered, forensics is continuing to search for viable DNA samples to help identify persons of interest, but it’s still early days on that front, and we are eager to provide the public with answers as they become available to us. If anyone has any information, please don’t hesitate to call the local department number…”
“Should I give them a call?” Zane huffs.
There’s humor in his tone, but pain too.
I set my hand on his thigh, rubbing gently. He places his on top of mine.
When the press conference comes to an end, we set our plates on the nightstand, and he curls up against me, nestling his face into my chest. I just hold my Zane, hating that I can’t do more.
“When I saw that article last night,” he says, “I really thought it had to be him. As excruciating as it was to believe, it was a relief to have an answer. And to know that meant he wasn’t suffering. But then when I found out that wasn’t the case, God, I felt so damn guilty. Like I was wishing my brother dead.”
It’s a haunting statement, a glimpse into another way Zane can turn the blame on himself for his brother’s disappearance.
“Please tell me you know that’s not what you were doing,” I say.
“Death just seems preferable to some of the other thoughts I have about what might have happened to Jason before his death.”
His arm tightens around me, and he pulls me close. There’s warmth against my chest, and it takes me a moment to realize it’s a tear.
Oh, my poor Zane.
I slide my hand over the back of his head, running my fingers through his soft hair.
“Why is the world so fucked up?” he asks.
“I don’t know, Zane.”
He offers a gentle peck against my chest.
His words make me think about his dark childhood. His and his brother’s lives. Everything he’s had to deal with around his mental health.
How much is a person supposed to bear in this life?
“What do you have going on today?” he asks.
“I need to get home and check on Kyra. And I was gonna take her to the animal rescue clinic. She’s still not even attempting to fly.”
“Maybe it’s too cold out. She doesn’t want you to set her loose so she can freeze to death.”
I laugh. “The vet said she’ll be fine unless it’s below freezing. And I won’t just kick her out. I need to know that her wings are getting better. I can’t imagine she wants to spend her life all cooped up in that cage.”
“You’re a good bird daddy. But ask your parents if they’ll check on her, and go to the animal rescue center tomorrow. Stay in bed with me today. I’ll keep you safe right here.”
He tightens his hold even more, and though I know this has more to do with his brother than me, I can’t deny how safe I feel in his arms.
After half an hour, he finally relaxes his hold, and while he checks on the news articles about Jason, I get out of bed and take our dishes downstairs.
Zane brushes his teeth and showers up first, and then I do the same. When I finish washing shampoo out of my hair, I hear, “Leif, Leif!” coming from the bedroom.
Tension rises within me.
Did he read something about Jason? No, he doesn’t sound upset. Almost…excited? What the fuck is that about?
He draws the shower curtain. His eyes are wide, and he looks me over as though it’s the first time he’s seen me naked.
“Fuck, I’m feeling guilty for not violating you this morning.”
He’s changed. This isn’t the guy who was so full of melancholy all morning. He’s more like his usual self, but I can’t make out why.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“I got a message from Dman281.”
I remember the name from when he was explaining how he’d wound up in my parents’ place, but it hasn’t come up since.
“The guy who was on that subreddit. He reached out this morning.” He turns to his phone and reads: “‘Hey, man. Sorry I didn’t see these. Just caught the news about Kilbourne, which made me check this account. If you want to talk some more, maybe we could meet up.’”
“What are you gonna tell him?”
“Hell yes I want to meet up with him.” He must read the concern in my expression because he says, “I’m not assuming this is magically going to solve all my problems, Leif. But I must do fucking something. I can’t lie around this place and sulk. And who knows? He could know something the police don’t yet. They never followed up with him since Roth thought I made up the damn account myself. I’m gonna see if he’s free today.”
“I get that. I’m more concerned about you meeting a stranger from some online forum. But as long as I’m invited to tag along, I’m fine with that.”