Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
I turn back to the image, almost wishing I could place it from somewhere to give Zane what he seems to need to hear. Of course, I can’t do that. I have to be honest. As I open my mouth to assure him I don’t know this man, he cuts me off, “Please, pretend I didn’t ask.”
He shoves his phone back into his pocket.
Nearly as quickly as he’d let his guard down, his jaw clenches and he looks mad enough to start pounding his fist into the wall.
Now he really won’t look me in the eyes.
I want to soothe him. Want to chase away whatever worry he has. “Zane,” I say, moving closer to him. “Please talk to me about this.”
“You’re gonna think it’s in my head.”
“You don’t know that.”
It’s a concern, but I don’t give a flying fuck if it is. I know how hard it can be, and I want to be here for him. Doesn’t he fucking get that?
Makes me feel like a real dick for all those times when my parents ask how I am, and I just want to push them away. Surely, they care about my well-being the way I care for his.
His eyes well with tears. “Well, maybe I’m worried if I say it out loud, then I’ll realize it’s all in my head.”
“Come here,” I say, guiding him to the kitchen table. “Sit down.”
As he does, I sit in the adjacent seat.
“I’m not gonna pretend to understand the hell you’ve been through, but from my own shit, I can say the worst thing is to keep all that bottled up. Haven’t I proven that I can handle some pretty wild shit? Let’s say it’s not in your head. Maybe talking it out will help you sort things out. And if it is in your head? You think you’re gonna get rid of me that easily?”
“You’ll think I’m the creep next door, who did all this for no reason. Not only a creep; this pervert who did all this to seduce you.”
“Don’t make it sound so sexy.” At his glare, I quickly retract. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to make this conversation lighter. I know this is serious, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m minimizing your feelings.”
Given his tension and the way he can’t bear to look at me, I can tell he’s in so much fucking pain. I want to let him know he doesn’t have to do this on his own, so I reach across the table and take his hand.
He looks at our hands before making eye contact again.
“Whatever’s behind why you did this, there is a reason, Zane,” I assure him. “And I don’t care what that reason is. So why don’t you tell me more about this teacher?”
He turns his hand, rubbing his thumb across mine. His warm skin feels so smooth. Despite how this conversation is stressing me out, his touch helps set me at ease.
“Please,” I say. “Talk to me.”
14
ZANE
After what I told him, he should have bolted out the door. He should have told me he wanted nothing to do with me when he first learned about my struggles with my mental health.
But he’s here, holding my hand, wanting to hear more.
He has a kind spirit. Like Mike.
It makes me wonder if that’s what whoever is behind the disappearances saw in them—this beautiful, rare quality. And if they did, why would they tear that from a world that’s already filled with too much cruelty?
But maybe no one would want that because this whole idea of someone abducting Mike and Jason is just a creation of my own fucked-up mind.
“Please. Talk to me.”
I struggle with his request, but now that I’ve dragged him into this, he has a right to know.
“I glossed over this when I was telling you about Isaac Tolle,” I force out. “After seeing Tolle’s name in Mike’s planner, I hacked Tolle’s email and found out he volunteered at Habitat for Humanity. I showed up to a few builds, thinking I’d talk to people who knew him…see if they said anything about someone he was spending time with. And I didn’t get anything, but on the third week, Isaac showed up.”
Wyachet’s not a small city, but it’s not New York, so it’s not shocking that I would run into a teacher who volunteered and who happened to have interacted with Mike and Jason.
Leif must realize this, which is why I still can’t bring myself to look at him. “You’re still not seeing it, are you?”
“Zane, it makes sense why seeing that would look suspicious. At the very least, it’s noteworthy.”
Despite what he says, I can hear his skepticism. Or maybe that’s what I’m expecting to hear, so I keep going. “It wasn’t only that he was on the build. He recognized me, but it was more than that. He looked guilty as sin, like he knew I was onto him. It’s possible he checked social media after Mike disappeared, but if he recognized me, wouldn’t he have mentioned it? That interaction is what started the real obsession. I could just feel this instinct. Something in my fucking bones that told me he did it…and I needed Roth to see.” As I say that this was the most I had, I know how it must sound. “It seemed like something was there.”