Total pages in book: 24
Estimated words: 22436 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 112(@200wpm)___ 90(@250wpm)___ 75(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22436 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 112(@200wpm)___ 90(@250wpm)___ 75(@300wpm)
There’s also Dr. Rourk. At this point, I’m living my days waiting for my next appointment with him. Sometimes he comes up to check in on everyone. That’s when I pretend he does it to see me. I'm always thinking of ways to work him up. It’s only fair. The man wreaks havoc on my body, and I don’t know how else to deal with it.
I press my thighs together as I think about him touching me. The throb that never quite goes away sparks back to life. No matter what I do, it won’t stop. Desire is a new feeling for me. I’ve heard other girls back at school talk about being horny and having sex. Several of them even sneaked out to visit the all-boys academy next to us, but I never went. Not that I was ever invited to go with them.
Listening to their stories made it sound gross. I didn’t want to have someone on top of me. But now things are different. Now I’m imagining Dr. Rourk crawling on top of me, rutting away, and groaning in my ear. It’s yummy in ways I don’t understand.
I’ve been touching myself, but I don’t know if I’m doing it right. I think I’m getting close because the buildup is there, I just can’t get over the edge. Somehow I know there’s only one person who can show me how to do it, but he won’t touch me.
I huff out a frustrated breath. No one wants me. Well, except for the guy I stabbed with a pencil, but surely he doesn't want me anymore.
“Where is it?” I roll over onto my stomach to see Nora losing it. "Georgia, where did you put it?”
My newish sort-of-not-really-friend Window Licker, who I’m now calling Win, puts a hand over his mouth as he tries to hide his giant smile. His body shakes with laughter, and I bite the inside of my cheek to hide my own. He glances over at me and points his thumb at Nora, like I don’t see what is happening. I place my finger over my mouth to remind him that it’s our secret.
Win and I are over Nora and her best friends Georgia and Miranda bossing people around. When someone doesn't do what she says, she’ll lose her mind and scream until we all give in. We usually do it so she’ll shut up.
I reach into my pocket and touch the missing puzzle piece to make sure it’s still there.
“I know one of you has it.” Nora points at one of the empty chairs, ready to fight her imaginary friends.
“I told you Miranda was up to no good,” I say and prop my head up with my hands. My legs are swinging back and forth behind me, and I can’t say I’m not enjoying the show.
“You shut it, stupid girl.” Now she’s pointing her finger at me. She’s always waving it around, and it reminds me that Nora is a bully. At least messing with her can be entertaining.
“Karmen, you’ve got a call,” Nurse Olivia says from the nurses’ station.
“I do?” I spring to my feet in surprise. Since I’ve been here, I haven’t gotten a single phone call or visit.
Neither of my parents bothered with reaching out when I was away at school. So maybe this is no different to them. They never showed up to events that would be hosted there either. I used to think it was a punishment for not pursuing ballet more. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to; I just didn’t want it on everyone else's terms. Plus, I kind of love food and that sort of thing was frowned upon.
I skip over to the nurses’ station and pluck the phone from Olivia’s hand. I'm certain it's my mother and not my father calling. They have been divorced for over a decade now, so my father may not even know I’m here. My father is more likely to forget me than to be disappointed in my actions, and I'm honestly not sure which is worse.
“Thanks,” I say, and she taps her watch.
“Five minutes.”
I stick out my tongue, and Oliva shakes her head, but before she turns away I see she’s hiding a smile.
“Yo,” I say into the phone, bouncing on my heels. I’m way too excited about a phone call. Part of my excitement might be because I know that Dr. Rourk will be here soon.
“Karmen.” My mother says my name like it exhausts her to speak it. Great. This is off to a fantastic start. I stop bouncing and lean against the nurses’ station. “You told me you would try.”
That’s not what I said.
“I said I would try not to stab anyone with a pencil, and I haven’t.” She clearly took my words out of context, but my mother always hears what she wants to. She certainly wasn't interested in finding out why I stabbed him to begin with. No one did, and I didn’t bother trying to explain it. It didn’t matter. They would have called me a liar, and this would have been the end result anyway. It was best I kept my mouth shut.