Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 58321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Grace tucks her hair behind her ears and gives me a long look. “You’ve been following me.”
Shame heats my skin, and I’m grateful I don’t flush the way humans do when they’re embarrassed. “I don’t like how we left things, but I didn’t know how to approach you to fix them. I wasn’t sure you wanted to see me.”
“I didn’t at first.” She turns back toward the entrance and pauses until I realize she means for me to walk next to her. We tread in silence for several blocks. Finally, she says, “I would like to understand. We both have our secrets and plenty of trauma to go around, but if we continue like this, I don’t think we’ll last the year, let alone seven.”
Something like hope takes root in my chest. It’s such a foreign sensation that several beats go by before I understand what I’m feeling. “I thought you were bent on escape.”
“I was.” Sorrow colors her in pale blue. “You were right, even if you were cruel. Things back home haven’t been the same since the last of my family died. I don’t know if I believe in what we were doing anymore. I want to think I helped people. I’m certain I helped people. But at what cost? When someone like me makes a mistake, people die. And they’re not always the ones who deserve it.”
I want nothing more than to take her in my arms. I’m not sure if she’ll accept it, though. I suppose the only way to find out is to ask. “Grace.” I wait for her to pause and turn to me. It takes more courage than I would’ve imagined to lift my arms in invitation.
She doesn’t hesitate. She steps into my embrace and allows me to wrap her up tightly. It’s the most natural thing in the world to enclose us in my wings. There, in the intimate darkness of my own making, I finally find the courage to tell her the truth. “The reason everyone in my territory believes I’m cursed is because I’m the only surviving member of the massacre that killed my entire family. And I’m only alive because I hid when they were attacked.”
Grace tenses. “I know I said I want to know, but if it’s going to hurt you, you don’t have to tell me.”
“I hurt all the time, Grace. What’s a little more if it helps fix things between us?” I run my hand down her back, allowing her presence to comfort me. “It was my father’s fault. He started spending time in the bargainer demon territory after the war, avoiding his duties as leader, and he got hooked on humans. I think Azazel was looking for any leverage he could find to ensure the peace talks succeeded. So he made a bargain with my father, very similar to the one I made.” Almost identical, in fact. Not that it matters now. I take a slow breath, inhaling Grace’s scent. “Less than a year in, she killed everyone. Even my siblings, who had barely entered adulthood.”
“Bram,” Grace breathes. “Saying I’m sorry is useless, but I truly am sorry for your loss. I know what it’s like to have violence touch your family and leave a ragged hole of nothingness behind. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, let alone someone I care about.”
Someone she cares about.
I know better than to take her word at anything other than face value. I knew before that she didn’t hate me, or she would have escaped properly by now. But not hating is a long way from caring . . . or even love. Not that I expect love from Grace. I sure as fuck don’t deserve it.
“He let his desire for humans override his responsibilities, and when that wasn’t enough, he brought pain and death into our family because he wanted a human of his very own to possess.” I drag in a breath. “His selfishness paved the way for our destruction. If this happened in any other territory, it would’ve been a tragedy beyond measure. Because it happened here, where my people like to attach deeper meaning to every action and word, they almost unilaterally decided that his actions and poor judgment brought a curse onto our family line. Some days, I even think it’s the truth.”
Grace hugs me tighter. “You’re not cursed. You’ve just gone through something horrific. I know you won’t believe me when I say this, but the fact that you lived doesn’t make you a coward. It makes you a survivor. There’s a whole lot of baggage and guilt that goes along with that, but the alternative is you being dead. I’ll never say that is the preferable outcome.”
Once again, shame coats me, so strong that I can barely breathe past it. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I wasn’t supposed to take this position of rulership for years and years. I don’t even want it anymore. But there’s no other option. If I step down, it will hurt my people.”