Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 114337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
She inhaled a tight gasp and stared at me with beautiful, unblinking eyes.
“But you’re right,” I continued. “Us liking each other is a bad idea. We work together.”
Her breathing went shallow and nervous, like she knew something she wanted was about to be taken away. “We don’t have to let feelings get involved.”
I stepped closer until we were chest to chest, and she peered up at me with so much longing it nearly broke me. But it was further proof I was doing the right thing.
“All right,” I whispered. “Tell me every time you kiss me it doesn’t mean anything. That every time you tremble for me you don’t feel a thing.” My gaze slipped over her face, tracing every inch. “I’ll believe almost anything you say, Mads. But I won’t believe that.”
I lifted a hand to cup her cheek and hold her still as I delivered the final blow.
“Maybe I’m wrong,” I whispered, “and you can keep your feelings to yourself, but I know I won’t be able to.”
Instead of lowering my mouth to hers, I did the same thing I’d done the night of our audition when she hadn’t allowed my kiss. I pressed my lips to her forehead. It wasn’t the connection either of us wanted, but it was the best option.
When I pulled back, she was left speechless. Her body was so tense, it was like she worried she’d come apart if she moved. She knew everything I’d said was true, but she didn’t like it any more than I did.
“Hey,” I said softly. “We should go. I’ll walk you home.”
She swallowed thickly and slowly returned to life, but she was cold and detached. Her single word was curt. “Fine.”
NINTEEN
Madison
It was ridiculous that I’d gone from hating Colin, to hating that I couldn’t be with him—at least not the way I wanted. We’d never been alone. Even during our audition, there’d been cameras in the room and voices in our ears.
It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy seeing him with other people, because I did. Oh, my God, I did. But I wanted him all to myself, just once, where I knew everything was real. I’d gotten a taste of it in his bed, but it’d ended up being a wicked tease.
I sat on the lounger beside the pool, baking in the early June sun, and ignoring the reading for my fraud and ethics class that I was supposed to be doing. Watching Colin as he lay on a foam mat and floated in the pool was far more interesting. As he drifted around the deep end, he didn’t move a single one of his delicious muscles, and he was so relaxed and wearing sunglasses, I began to wonder if he’d fallen asleep.
I gazed at him with longing. I understood why it was better if we remained coworkers and nothing more, but it didn’t make it any easier.
“You can join me, you know,” he said abruptly.
Because he’d noticed me staring at him. I sat up straighter, shifting the laptop in my lap. “I think dinner’s going to be ready soon.”
Scott, who manned the grill nearby, was putting slices of cheese on the burgers.
The house didn’t eat together much as a group, but Nina had announced they planned to barbeque this evening and took everyone’s order for the grill. It was a totally different dynamic at the Petal Productions house, and the structure was looser, but it was vaguely like the sorority I’d lost.
We were a family.
Well, sort of.
Because I’d slept with everyone. So, maybe not a family, but just a tightly knit group.
We’d all gone to Jaquan’s graduation and then out to the bars afterward to celebrate. Abbie helped me with poses and backgrounds for a set of nudes I’d shot for Petal Productions’ website. Nina drove Colin to his farthest class, so he didn’t have to ride his bike when it reached triple digits outside.
We were all close. We had fun and enjoyed working together. But the way I felt about him? It wasn’t the same. And it seemed to grow stronger every week.
I told myself it was just an absence thing. We hadn’t worked together since our scene with Scott. I’d done one with Abbie, and one with Jaquan, and last week a super hot scene with Nina and Scott where I played a naïve babysitter who they seduced together.
But the Colin hiatus was ending tomorrow, and I couldn’t fucking wait.
It was his pitch we were going to film. A couples’ swap, where I was playing Jaquan’s girlfriend, and Abbie was Colin’s. It was hard to tell which part excited me the most. I’d never been with three other people before, and I hadn’t had a scene where I’d fully shared Colin with another woman yet.
And there was the little thing that kissing was no longer off limits. At least, it wasn’t for me. We hadn’t discussed it, but it’d been three weeks since we’d kissed in the basement of the Sig house, and I was dying for the excuse to do it again.